Take My Fears

Jehovah, take my fears and replace them with your ancient truth. Take my fears and replace them with your ancient plan. Take my fears and help me replace them with abiding in the ancient mission and purpose you have given me.

When my eyes get fixed on what seems urgent, on what seems pressing, on what must be done;  let me remember you are present,  you are working.

You are the beginning and the end. This is your universe. All time is really yours.

Photo by Joe Beck on Unsplash

Why we’re getting nowhere.

“We must picture hell as a state where everyone is perpetually concerned about his own dignity and advancement, where everyone has a grievance, and where everyone lives with the deadly serious passions of envy, self-importance, and resentment .”(C.S. Lewis, Screwtape  Letters  Illustrated. p. 231)

Let us strive for much better.
Consider others as better than ourselves.
Practice self-forgetting.
Pursue The Creator.

 

This year begin to undo the lies about yourself and be who you are created to be.

Life and our culture have a way of making alignment to our created purpose confusing. In life we are, as one ancient author described it, “harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.”* From birth we are assaulted by lies about who we are.  Sometimes it is our family, sometimes it is our classmates, sometimes our neighbors, or sometimes our co-workers. For sure it is also the constant throbbing message from the culture telling us we are not enough. These lies can settle  deep into our psyche. They may be telling us we need to be skinnier, that we can’t compete intellectually, that  we aren’t good enough to do what we enjoy, or that are our very core there is something wrong in us that makes us irreversibly defective. When these lies take root it makes believing the truth about who the Creator made us to be seem ridiculous. Embracing the lies leads us to a life of frustration, fear and anxiety.

Unwinding the lies and embracing the truth is within our grasp. It takes persistence, diligence,  and daily perseverance. It also takes doing something different. The lies are embedded in us because we have meditated on them. We have reinforced them. To change we have to begin the deconstruction process. Start by making a commitment to everyday doing what it takes to discover, uproot, and replace the lies.

  1. Take the time to review. Think about the destructive messages you’ve received over the course of your life. Some of the messages have been overt and some covert. As you identify them write them down. Write down who sent the message, be it a person, an institution, or an environment. Ask yourself why you are allowing that person or entity to declare truth about you?
  2. Allow yourself to believe that you were brought into existence by the grand Creator and that this Creator has a truth about you to discover.
  3. Begin to change your input. The lies are sown and grown by input. If you want to uproot and replace the lies with the truth you must change the input. The Creator has given you the power to choose new input. Read or listen to good books. I encourage reading the classics. You can use the internet for a list, or ask a literature teacher.
    **Here I will make personal suggestion. Start with reading the books of                                   the Psalms, Proverbs and New Testament  for 10  minutes every day.                                   Even if you are not in the Christian religion you will benefit from the                                     message.
  4. Begin to Journal. Write out your thoughts, feelings, stories, memories…whatever comes out. When you think of  lies, write out challenges to them. Write  what you are learning about yourself. Write out prayers. Write out poems. Use the journal to pour out your heart. List the things you do well. List out your victories, even the smallest ones.
  5. Begin to use your gifts. If its painting, then paint, if its building things then start, if its encouraging others then do it with gusto. Consider one of my favorite quotes,                      “If you have a talent, use it in every which way possible. Don’t hoard it. Don’t                    dole it out like a miser. Spend it lavishly like a millionaire intent on going                          broke.” Brendan Francis.

As you being to practice these things regularly you will get new ideas about who you are. Let them settle in. Push back against the lies as they rear their dishonest heads. Embrace the new truths the Creator is teaching you about who you really are. Look for new opportunities to push into. New friendships, new social circles, new hobbies, new work. Give yourself the permission to try even if one of the new things you do does not work out.

The truth of life is that you have a purpose. You were given talents, abilities, interests and passions because your Creator wants you to have them. He wants you to use them. Make a commitment to move toward undoing anything that is casting a shadow over your glorious potential and move in the direction of alignment with your God given mission.

 

 

 

 

 

*Matthew 9:36 NIV

I need a jealous God.

Photo by LoboStudio Hamburg

I pray a lot. One of the reasons I pray is that  I face problems that require solutions that I do not possess.

The other day I noticed I was feeling a small tinge of hopelessness as I prayed. At that particular moment I was addressing an issue that I had been praying about for a long time.  I moved on to  praying about another problem that too, seemed ominous and difficult. In the midst of my appeal I realized I was  believing  that my prayers might be weaker than the situations I was petitioning for. I was straining and pleading to be heard and was hoping for God to do something overt and powerful but somewhere deep inside I was perceiving  God as distant.

The source of my sense of weakness? My view of God had drifted to a god who was nice and caring but  not a god who could or would step in with force and make things right. My conceptualization of God had slipped into the Christian bookstore, marketing  version of “The Almighty”.  That version is a god whose words and images are displayed nicely on gift mugs and plaques.  Whose thoughts and truths are sold  in book after book after book with nice covers, on everything from marriage, to raising kids, to running a business, to prayer. The Christian bookstore god seems far away. Hard to know. Maybe too far off or passive to  deal with my issues.

I have real problems that require a living God to answer. I need the God  described in ancient Hebrew and Greek texts that answers when people call. The God who wants to step in and be known. I need  a Consuming Fire. I need a  jealous God. I need the God who rides on a white horse and brandishes a double edge sword. I need the God who trains hands for war. I need the  God who casts out the Accuser. I need the  God who made the sun stand still. I need the God whom the demons know and shake with fear of. I need the God who healed the lady with a bleeding disorder. I need  a God who isn’t safe, who no one can see and live.

I’ve known this God and I’ve seen him act.

Abba-Father please help me to keep my understanding of you true. Help me to not allow the many ways you get watered down in our culture change how I approach you and how I think about you.

 

 

 

 

The battle to lead starts in my mind.

 

For me, the battle of  leading starts in my mind. Why do I call it a battle? Because good leadership means taking the high road, the ethical road, the humble road, the selfless road.   It takes courage. Too often, I am inclined to make  decisions  out of pride, out of fear,  out of selfishness, or out of people pleasing. This is the battle for my mind. I have seen many others in leadership roles have similar struggles. Somewhere deep inside  insecurities rise up. Often the reaction to the insecurities is to blame someone else for a problem, to be evasive rather than truthful when giving feedback, to minimize bad news rather than take it head on, or simply to avoid dealing with problems all together.

Why do I fight the battle for my mind rather than  give in? The organization I work for and the people I work with rely on me to make decisions that are best for the company. They rely on me to confront problems. They rely on me to make choices that move the agency forward. To make make choices that allow us to more effectively accomplish the mission of the agency.

So what I have I found that helps me fight this battle for my mind?

  1. I seek to know what my insecurities are, acknowledge them, and challenge them.
  2. I allow myself  to be open to criticism from anyone in our organization. I make it known that I have an open door policy and that I would rather people come and tell me any problem they have with me than talk behind my back.
  3. I work hard at listening to others and not being defensive when I am criticized. This is not easy but with practice it  becomes a great learning tool.
  4. I practice stress management. For me this involves what I like to refer to as my three kinds of medication. Exercise, journaling, and meditation/prayer using Scripture (Lectio Divina).

The thing about this battle is that it never ends. Pressures wax and wane.  Demands layer on top of each other. Every day, every month, every quarter, ever year brings new threats, new opportunities, and new challenges.

Those of us in leadership must actively engage the conflict between our insecurities and being the person  our organization needs us to be.

 

Some days …

Organizational leadership. What does it mean…in a practical sense? Some days…

It means giving your best employees a pep talk during a crisis.
It means reassuring staff that you are going to take care of a uneasy situation so that they are safe.
It means showing up in the middle of a mess and working side by side with staff until it is resolved.
It means listening to staff vent their true feelings even if it hurts.
It means getting staff what they need.
It means having hard conversations.
It means making sure the people who are the heart and soul of your organization know they are the heart and soul of the organization.
Its moving the agency,  even on tough days,  toward the mission.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Be thankful for your incognito teachers.

 

The Creator uses some of the most difficult people in our lives as teachers. I wouldn’t  have the knowledge and understanding I do about organizational leadership if it were not for those individuals over the years who at points in my journey had me at a breaking point. This realization came into focus this past week.  I was in a conversation with a colleague. It was a congenial, collaborative conversation about the work we do and the work we want to do to make a difference in the lives of others. I realized during the conversation that we were very aligned. What made the awareness peculiar is that  we have not always been aligned. In fact at a few points in our relationship we have been at tremendous odds.

As I thought about those difficult times in our work together I came to a realization that this individual has been one of my greatest teachers.  It was instruction that could be characterized as ,”learning the hard way.”  As I reflected on  our difficult times and how much I had learned a message floated across my mind. The Creator had used him to help me grow up as a leader. I began to think about others who have served as teachers I didn’t ask for or recognize but who have helped me develop as a leader.

A handful of people came to mind. I thought of the lessons I had learned from them. I’ve learned that hiring someone who fits our agency’s mission and values is more important than hiring someone for the skills  they possess. I learned that having the right person in the wrong position creates frustration for everyone. I learned that taking care of problems when they are small is really important because problems generally do not go away, they just get bigger and do  more damage. I’ve learned the importance of listening to warning signals. I’ve learned its okay to do a 180 degree turn when you need to. I’ve learned to ask for help when I need it. I’ve learned that collaboration builds a stronger organization. I could go on and on.

As I make the list I am thinking of names of people I have worked with in various capacities. Whether our relationship was marked by conflict or agreement I realize that they were in my life to teach me. I think the reason The Creator put them there incognito is because I wouldn’t have chosen them as teachers. I think I would have gravitated to  people who would have been safe rather than pushed me into places I didn’t want to go. Sometimes being in those places had me crying out for relief or  for a different job. Relief did not always come very quickly and I am still in the same job (thank you God). I feel a little wiser. Part of that wisdom is knowing that more lessons will come. After all, like all of us, I am in a dynamic developmental process and I need teachers.