Leaders, 

Have you ever thought about how important your enemies are to you? If “enemies” is too strong of a word then think of the people in your organization, industry or community who oppose you with the most strength and frequency. Why are they so important? Because no one else in your life can do what they do for you. 

Your greatest enemies give you:

1. Regular opportunities to practice courage.  Sometimes thinking about our enemies  can lead us to experiencing fear or dread. This happens when we focus on how their actions could harm us or the organizations we lead. Practicing courage requires us to change our focus and to talk to ourselves rather than listen to ourselves. William Tecumseh Sherman is quoted to have defined courage as, “a perfect sensibility of the measure of danger, and a mental willingness to endure it.” It is likely your enemies, competitors, or opponents may be just as afraid of you as you are of them. Don’t simply focus on the power or leverage they have over you, but realize you too have power and leverage.  Sometimes we can get so focused on how we could be hurt  that we only see those aspects of our future. Choose, as General Sherman suggests, to push past that and explore your strengths and possibilities. Allow yourself to think outside the box. Get advice from a variety of types of sources. By focusing on what you can do rather than on what someone else might do to you will give you energy and help you grow in confidence. 

2. The chance to hone your problem solving skills. A focus on problem solving versus a focus on the problem is a life practice that will make you better at all aspects of leadership.  It is easy to become enamoured with an obstacle,  or adversary  in our life and perseverate on how much damage they could do to us.  Having a clear sense of the dangers that we face is healthy and a survival skill, but we must pivot to solutions or we become stuck in the unproductive cycle of worry, fear and anxiety. Thankfully we can choose what we think about and how we think about it. It takes practice  but over time and repetition we can get better at  being solution-focused rather than problem-focused. A problem-focused approach sees the potential dangers ahead and becomes increasingly trapped by them. Being solution-focused acknowledges the danger ahead and immediately pivots to using our personal strengths, our relationships, our knowledge and wisdom to solve the issue. Being solution focused decreases anxiety while  generating positive energy and creativity.  

3. The necessity to think tactically and strategically. Thinking strategically takes problem solving a little farther. It involves long range planning and requires a focus not only on solving the problem right in front of you but on changing how you operate in general. It helps you not only solve the initial problem but gives you a map to ultimately deal with the source of the problem. Your enemy may create many problems. Being strategic means pursuing a deeper understanding of your opponent’s personality, patterns, and motives. Being strategic usually means getting more people involved in helping you analyze your own position. A common and effective way to initiate the process is by doing a SWOT analysis. SWOT stands for strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats. With a team of people you trust to  give honest good advice, review these four items about yourself or your organization. From there you can begin the process of developing a longer range strategy that will make you problem solving even more fruitful.

4. The opportunity to have your deficits exposed in order to overcome them. We have a tendency to hide our faults or not put ourselves in situations where we have to operate out of our deficits. Enemies may put you in a situation in which you have to wade into your deficits and either improve those areas of leadership or find functional adaptations for them. Leaders who are  unaware of their deficits or who ignore them set themselves up for difficultes. Enemies can keep us on our toes regarding our deficits as often those who oppose us come at us in areas we are weak. Honest self awareness can be your friend. Examine the areas of your leadership domains that you struggle with. Be honest about important facets of leadership that you neglect. Leading an organization requires attention to organizational culture, organizational climate, team member  morale, human resource management, legal compliance, ethical practice, fiscal dilligiance, political awareness, and many other subtle and not so subtle areas. You are not skilled in all of them and you aren’t able to focus on all of them. Seek help.

5. The chance  to learn how some people are experiencing you. Thinking about how others experience us does not come naturally. We like to believe others see and feel our good intentions. The reality is they are experiencing  us through their own unique lens. This is one of the most surprising lessons I have learned over 16 years leading a nonprofit. People interpret and judge everything I do and say. Often their interpretations display mistrust and misgivings. The people I work with come in with a variety of preconceived notions, perceptions, expectations, and previous experiences with authority. We may create fear, doubt and distrust in others without even realizing it. As an organizational leader how often are your statements, even casual off the cuff remarks that you meant nothing by, interpreted completely differently than you intended? Consistent, fair, equitable, behavior that demonstrates a commitment to the agency’s mission and values and as much as possible the best interest of the employees is essential in gaining the trust of your co-workers. Your enemies’ experience and perceptions of you give you a chance to see how others may be thinking of you. This gives you the chance to act differently, in ways that will actually communicate what you are hoping to.  

6. The opportunity to change the whole paradigm by practicing what Jesus taught, “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you (Matthew 5:44).” Not everyone reading this may share this as a value. But just think of it. What if, by changing how you viewed your enemy you were able to turn them into a valued collaborator? True, this may not be possible with everyone, however, “…as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone (Romans 12:18).”  Jesus teaches about his upside down kingdom where the “first shall be last (Mark 10:31),” and where the poor are blessed (Luke 6:20), where you’re encouraged to “turn the other cheek (Matthew 5:39),”  along with loving  and blessing those who are against you. This paradigm shift certainly has the chance to transform relationships.  As much as it may impact your enemy it may transform you even more. By  choosing to love the person who is against you, how you relate and respond to them changes. You become more generous, more empowered, and move  into a new level of freedom.   

Friends as you go forward as a leader may your journey be blessed and may you be successful in turning your greatest adversaries into your greatest allies.