Category Archives: Life

Some days …

Life, Topics in Leadership, Work

Organizational leadership. What does it mean…in a practical sense? Some days…

It means giving your best employees a pep talk during a crisis.
It means reassuring staff that you are going to take care of a uneasy situation so that they are safe.
It means showing up in the middle of a mess and working side by side with staff until it is resolved.
It means listening to staff vent their true feelings even if it hurts.
It means getting staff what they need.
It means having hard conversations.
It means making sure the people who are the heart and soul of your organization know they are the heart and soul of the organization.
Its moving the agency,  even on tough days,  toward the mission.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Be thankful for your incognito teachers.

Faith, Life, Topics in Leadership, Work

 

The Creator uses some of the most difficult people in our lives as teachers. I wouldn’t  have the knowledge and understanding I do about organizational leadership if it were not for those individuals over the years who at points in my journey had me at a breaking point. This realization came into focus this past week.  I was in a conversation with a colleague. It was a congenial, collaborative conversation about the work we do and the work we want to do to make a difference in the lives of others. I realized during the conversation that we were very aligned. What made the awareness peculiar is that  we have not always been aligned. In fact at a few points in our relationship we have been at tremendous odds.

As I thought about those difficult times in our work together I came to a realization that this individual has been one of my greatest teachers.  It was instruction that could be characterized as ,”learning the hard way.”  As I reflected on  our difficult times and how much I had learned a message floated across my mind. The Creator had used him to help me grow up as a leader. I began to think about others who have served as teachers I didn’t ask for or recognize but who have helped me develop as a leader.

A handful of people came to mind. I thought of the lessons I had learned from them. I’ve learned that hiring someone who fits our agency’s mission and values is more important than hiring someone for the skills  they possess. I learned that having the right person in the wrong position creates frustration for everyone. I learned that taking care of problems when they are small is really important because problems generally do not go away, they just get bigger and do  more damage. I’ve learned the importance of listening to warning signals. I’ve learned its okay to do a 180 degree turn when you need to. I’ve learned to ask for help when I need it. I’ve learned that collaboration builds a stronger organization. I could go on and on.

As I make the list I am thinking of names of people I have worked with in various capacities. Whether our relationship was marked by conflict or agreement I realize that they were in my life to teach me. I think the reason The Creator put them there incognito is because I wouldn’t have chosen them as teachers. I think I would have gravitated to  people who would have been safe rather than pushed me into places I didn’t want to go. Sometimes being in those places had me crying out for relief or  for a different job. Relief did not always come very quickly and I am still in the same job (thank you God). I feel a little wiser. Part of that wisdom is knowing that more lessons will come. After all, like all of us, I am in a dynamic developmental process and I need teachers.

 

 

 

 

Sometimes leading…

Faith, Life, Topics in Leadership, Work

 

Sometimes leading feels like I am walking in a stream, with the current and having a clear path. Everything flows nicely and gently.

Sometimes leading feels like I am walking in a stream against the current. It’s hard. My steps are slow and I get tired, but I must keep stepping forward.

Sometimes leading feels like I am walking in a stream against the current during a storm. I am getting really wet and weighed down by the rain. I slog against the current with a sense that I might go under.

Sometimes leading feels like I am walking in a steam in the dark with a lot of big rocks in the way. It’s hard to find the right path. I bump into few rocks when I’m trying to decide which way to go. I back up and try a different direction. Always guided by,
what is true,
what is right,
what is fair,
what is ethical.

Sometimes leading feels like walking in a stream, with the current on a bright warm day. And it all–
the good,
the bad,
the easy,
and the hard,
make sense.

 

I have decided after several conversations today that most people want to have things their way.

Faith, Life, Topics in Leadership, Work

I have decided after several conversations today that most people want to have things their way. The problem with this approach to life is that it  stalls momentum, kills creativity,  or moves things forward tainted by resentment.

What is the alternative? I have to turn to ancient wisdom:

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. -Paul of Tarsus

Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less. -C. S. Lewis

 

 

 

 

Stay off this dark road.

Faith, Life, Mental Health, Topics in Leadership, Uncategorized

It happened this past week. I went down the dark road…I started to compare myself to someone else. The self-talk was something like, “Look how much more focused and further along in their career they are. Look how much more they have. Look how much better they have done. I should have done this. I should have done that.” The internal dialogue culminated in me feeling small and inadequate. I knew this exercise in self deprecation was wrong. I didn’t want to do it. It just sort of started to happen and somewhere deep inside it got rolling.

I went to The Creator and asked for help. First for forgiveness for the offense, then for restoration. The familiar voice, the one that runs deeper than the negativity, spoke back. It reminded me that I, like all of us, have a unique set of tools, handed down by my maker. I have a unique life to live. I have a mission…a job that is bigger than  me. This mission is for me to pour my heart, my mind, and soul into.  One  of my favorite quotes came to mind as I was getting back on track. It reminded me to focus on what I have rather than on perceptions of what I don’t have:  If you have a talent, use it in every which way possible. Don’t hoard it. Don’t dole it out like a miser. Spend it lavishly like a millionaire intent on going broke (Brendan Francis). 

Whether you lead a business, a church, a nonprofit, or anything else, you must fight the the temptation to compare yourself to others.  It only  leads to dark places like frustration, anger, resentment or jealousy.   Focus on the talents, tools, and work the Creator has given you. You and everyone else will be better off for it.

Lessons from saying “thank you” to two long time employees.

Life, Mental Health, Topics in Leadership, Work

This week at work we spent time focusing on our staff. On Monday we had a staff recognition luncheon. We recognized staff for working at our agency for five, ten, fifteen, twenty and twenty-five years.  The big emphasis of the week; however, was on honoring the two staff members who have worked with the organization since it opened twenty-six years ago. Not only have they worked for the same organization since it opened but they have essentially been in the same jobs doing excellent work. They were each given their own special day.  They received awards, gift cards, flowers, and balloons to let them know how much their career long work is appreciated. We all wore buttons proclaiming the special day for each of the two and they got parking spots designated only for them. What made the week so uplifting was to see how much everyone enjoyed recognizing their co-workers. The two honored were all smiles and were genuinely appreciative. Here are some of the takeaways I had from being part of this:

  • It was fun to see the creativity, energy, and passion of the planning team.  They were committed to  making sure that our staff felt appreciated and honored for the commitment they make to be part of our agency. Being part of planning the celebration  meant a lot to the team.
  • The smiles and air of joy the two long term employees had on “their” day was awesome. It was planned as a surprise so when they saw the parking spots, the buttons, and the gifts  it was clear they were overwhelmed. Their smiles made everyone smile.
  • Staff recognized for their various lengths of stay felt acknowledged for reaching a milestone. It is important  to celebrate milestones.
  • The joy caused by showing someone how appreciated they are has a ripple effect.
  • It reinforced to me the fact that it takes a lot more than salary and benefits to make a good work climate. Most of us want to know our work has meaning and that we are making a difference. When the organization can give its members that feedback it improves the climate.
  • Celebrating achievements, both small and large, is essential for the morale of an organization.
  • Getting staff involved in planning shows them respect and turns out a better product. Diverse feedback and problem solving reduces the risk of negative unintended consequences or forgetting something important.
  • I often think about how blessed I am to have the great management team and staff around me that I do. I need to make sure that I tell people that when I think it.

Stressed out

Life, Mental Health

Since Monday I have had a chance to give four presentations about stress management to local high school students.  Its a topic near and dear to my heart because I have to work hard at it [stress management]  myself. Here is the gist of what I said to the teens.

A scale is a great way to think of stress management. We can’t avoid stress. Stress comes from the good things and bad things in life. The key is to balance the amount of stress we experience  with an equal or greater amount of coping skills.

  • A 2015 American Psychological Association  study found that teenagers (Millennials) report higher levels of stress than adults. (http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/stress/2015/snapshot.aspx).
  • Teens are sleep deprived and it leads to increased feelings of stress and anxiety. (https://med.stanford.edu/news/all-news/2015/10/among-teens-sleep-deprivation-an-epidemic.html)
  • Greater use of social media may increase the likelihood of experiencing depression. ( http://www.upmc.com/media/NewsReleases/2016/Pages/lin-primack-sm-depression.aspx

The students I met with identified their top five stressors as:

  • Family issues (conflict).
  • School issues (testing, homework, difficulty with learning).
  • Money issues (not enough money for college).
  • Peer/Friendship issues (conflict, drama).
  • Depression.

We spent time talking about ways to counter the stress they feel. I shared the importance of taking care of our mind, body and spirit.

  • Exercise is very effective at helping the body manage stress and combat depression. (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC474733/).
  • Journaling helps to put our thoughts on paper and untangle the mess in our head. (http://www.depressiontoolkit.org/takecare/journaling.asp)
  • Mindfulness has a growing body of research pointing to its benefits related to stress management. (http://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/07-08/ce-corner.aspx
  • Additionally I suggested they…
    • Read good books
    • Keep a humor library
    • Carve in more time for sleep
    • Cultivate good friendships
    • Pray (and like in the AA 12 steps, believe that a power greater than themselves can restore them to sanity).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Community: A cool cloth on a warm forehead. 

Faith, Life, The Church

This is a story of the healing  power of a supportive community.  About how the Creator works  through the care and  compassion of family, neighbors and friends.

So this past week my wife, Jane, was diagnosed with both the flu (influenza b) and  pneumonia. She  was very sick. I had  not seen her this ill  in our 27 years of marriage. Her body was failing fast. Our family physician prescribed medications  but in the initial 24 hour period after seeing him she got worse. I was worried. This is when we began to experience the unseen hand of God through the care of compassion of family and friends.

Family.  First, on Saturday, the day after seeing our family doctor, my sister-in-law, Gail, called. She had pneumonia a few years ago and was really worried about Jane. Because she had experienced pneumonia, Gail was able to tell Jane’s symptoms were reaching a critical place and she encouraged me to call for  more help.  I did and we wound up in our local emergency department (E.D.).

Neighbors.  Because we live in a wonderful small town, the first person we see in the E.D. is our neighbor who is a nurse there. She settled us in and was able to get Jane set up with some ice and a warm blanket. The second person we encountered was the nurse who provided the rest of Jane’s care.  Wouldn’t you know,  she too is a friend. She volunteers at the local domestic violence shelter that is part the organization I work for. She set Jane up with fluids, blood work, and other medications as directed by the physician.  I am sure we would have gotten great care by anyone at our local hospital; however, as God would have it, it was provided by two people who knew us, and because of that, were able to make things all the more comfortable. After a couple hours of good treatment  at the E.D. Jane was stabilized and we were able to go home.

Friends.  Because of my concern about Jane I had sent out an email asking for prayer  to our small group from the church we attend. I also told our neighbors from across the street, Tom and Patty,  who have become dear friends of ours.  Patty leads a   Bible study that Jane is a part of. Within a  few minutes of us returning home from the E.D. Tom brought over a hot meal for Jane and I to share. Within an hour of being home Jane’s Bible study group sent her a text saying the members where bringing us dinner every night this past week and outlined who would be bringing it. Our small group sent texts, calls, food and a novel for Jane to read while she was stuck on the couch. A coworker of Jane’s dropped off a meal. Our niece dropped off soup. Our daughter stopped by with cake and flowers. The entire eight days Jane was down we felt a daily portion of love, mercy, and grace from the Creator through people. We felt it not only from the gifts that met our physical needs but also from the prayers and words of encouragement that  filled us spiritually.

Its been a  week. Jane is on the road to recovery. I have gotten to experience first hand the power of community. I read so often about how God works through people; about how love is the most powerful force in the universe. This past week I lived it. Because I have felt what a difference it can make, I am compelled  to pass it along.

 

Love Each Other or Perish

Faith, Life, Mental Health, Topics in Leadership, Work

My wife made this for my office. I wanted this message to be the first thing people see when they walk in. Its from Mitch Albom’s book Tuesday’s with Morrie. The author is paraphrasing Morrie’s favorite poet W.H. Auden in his poem September 1, 1939. 

Negative emotions, whether they be jealousy, resentment, envy, greed, or  unhealthy pride tear agencies and businesses apart. So often as an agency director, whether it be at my organization or another,  I have seen destructive  emotions lead to divisions between individuals and teams . These dark feelings, when harbored,  stifle the ability of an organization to accomplish its mission. Conflicts and disagreements are necessary and healthy. They are often the fuel for the energy that leads to healthy change. But in the end, it is things like truth, forgiveness, humility, and kindness that create the organizational climate and culture for staying power and growth in an organization.