Category Archives: Life

Is the person in your team who’s always complaining, right?

Life, Organizational Culture, Topics in Leadership

We tend to ignore or write off the complainers…but, what if they are right?

I am sure if I asked you to identify people in your office who are the “complainers,” you are going to think of somebody. You will think of that person who always brings up what is wrong. They are the one who, in a meeting, when all is well, has to bring everyone else down. When the complainer speaks, the rest of us are thinking, “it’s just their problem,” or “it’s not that big of a deal,” or, “they are making a mountain out of a molehill.” I have worked with chronic complainers. They see the glass as half empty. They always see what is wrong, even if it seems like a small issue. If someone is labeled as a chronic complainer, because they seem quick to point out  what is wrong, they can get written off. Their perceived negative persona may lead them to not be well-liked in the organization.

But, what if the complainers are the canaries in the coal mine? What if they are pointing out the problems we ignore, don’t want to see, don’t want to acknowledge or don’t want to deal with? Complainers are often the people that won’t let go of a problem that exists and that really needs to be taken care of. Often it’s a problem that an organization has passively chosen to ignore. A subtle organizational agreement may be, “things are going good enough, and the bottom line is not hurt, why rock the boat?” There are reasons* organizations accept or ignore problems. Organizational members may ignore problems because we want to avoid taking on something unpleasant or to avoid a conflict. Maybe team members have seen their peers have a bad experience with management when someone has tried to deal with a problem. It’s possible that what lies under the problem is a mess and we don’t want to open a can of worms.

Here are some considerations related to the complainers we work that may help us see them in a less negative and more helpful way:
1. Complainers identify problems that others have passively accepted.  If a problem isn’t affecting everyone and its consequences aren’t seen by everyone, the organization as a whole may accept the problem rather than deal with it. Problems that are undealt with can eventually lead to major issues that hurt everyone. The next time the “complainer” won’t let an issue go, ask your team if the agency has accepted a problem that could lead to much bigger issues down the road.
2. Complainers may identify a problem we don’t want to talk about. Sometimes problems are challenging to discuss because they involve people who we don’t want to confront or processes that are sensitive.  As long as the problem isn’t out of hand it’s easier to leave it unspoken. Is your organization ignoring a problem because the people involved make it hard to confront?
3.Complainers are the organization’s warning system. As we’ve said, some problems start small, but if left unattended, have big consequences. Consider valuing the person labeled as a complainer and see them as pointing out problems early, when they are manageable and small.
4. Complainers should be engaged. If you have a staff member who is focused on identifying what is wrong, engage them in conversation. Ask them questions about what they see and what it means in their mind. You may begin to see them as insightful rather than as an antagonist. I have learned a lot from taking the time to listen to people who are chronic complainers, because they often have an understanding of issues that are not as well understood by others. Try to understand how they view the problem. Complainers often have a unique perspective on circumstances and problems that is worth understanding. The complaining person’s perspective can give a leader a much broader understanding of the system than if they are left unengaged or ignored.
5.Complainers may eventually become whistle blowers. If a person who’s chronically complaining is left ignored long enough, their frustration may grow to the point of them reaching out to regulatory authorities to correct the problem. A simple conversation with them could have saved the situation.
6. They challenge groupthink. Irving Janis, in 1972, defined groupthink as “a mode of thinking that occurs when a group’s desire for unanimity overrides realistic appraisal of alternatives.” Often the person perceived as a complainer is really just challenging the organization’s groupthink, which can keep it from looking at problems or dealing with problems.
7.Let them know they are appreciated for being vigilant. One way to turn a complainer into an ally is by letting them know how much they are appreciated. The more you engage them and get to know how they view an issue, the more you may appreciate them. A regular conversation with people who tend to be negative can go a long way in making them part of the team.
8. They want to be heard. Often, people who are complaining have the best interest of the organization in mind. From their perspective, they see a problem that is not being resolved and by listening to them we may be really helping save a big consequence in the long run.
9. Found out their vision of a solution. What do they want to see happen? I find asking a person who’s a complainer what they would like to see happen is a really good way to gain their allegiance. Often, it’s not that they really want something done. They just want others to know that the problem exists and that people are aware.
10. They may be protecting your blind spot. I have blind spots as does every leader.  Groupthink can be a phenomenon that leads an organization to completely ignore a real issue. Complainers may be a gift to help you see what you don’t see and fix a problem that exists that is going to really hurt your organization.

To help our organization and to be better leaders, let’s change our attitude toward complainers. Let’s start to see them as the warning lights or the safety and security force that happens to have a very heightened sensitivity to danger. In the end, it may save you and your organization from a lot of trouble.

Words from a Father (a Father’s Day Reflection)

Faith, Life, Mental Health
Photo by Juan Pablo Serrano

At 60 years old, I am blessed to be the husband of an amazing wife (Jane). We’ve been married for 35 years.  I have 3 incredible daughters, two wonderful sons-in-laws, and 17 month old twin granddaughters. My life is rich and I am thankful. 

I have served in the mental health field as a counselor since 1992. The majority of this work has been in community mental health. 

On Father’s Day, this ancient sacred text was part of my morning reading:

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart…”*

If you are anxious, angry, self conscious,  worried, or afraid, these words are for you:

You were planned before the earth came into existence.

God Almighty, the consuming fire conceived of you in his all powerful, all knowing, all present being.

He placed you in his story.

He set you apart.

He claimed you as his.

You are not the product of your trauma.

You are not your feelings.

You are not the derogatory names you were called.

You are not the self-incriminating thoughts in your head.

Push the relentless messages of this world aside.

God claims you.

He says, “Mine!”

You are made for more than this world’s words can describe.

You are created in the image of God your Father.

The day he began to plan you, he poured himself into you.

He made you to be creative, kind, and generous.

He made you to laugh, to cry, to grieve, and be joyful.

He made you to sing, to explore, and to learn.

He made you to persevere and not give up.

He made you to be a good friend, a good listener, a defender of the weak, capable of tough love, a giver of mercy and courageous.

Live like you are God’s son or daughter.

Let go of selfishness, anger, vengeance, worry and fear.

Give them to the one who made you. The one who is ready to listen, with the power to do something about your troubles. 

Jeremiah 1:5a.

Reflections on Black History Month

Faith, Life, Mental Health, Topics in Leadership, Work
Image by Aaron Mervin from Pixabay

Today is the last day of Black History Month. Over the last few years my life has been enriched by Black professors, coworkers, doctoral students, and authors that I have had the privilege to know and learn from. They have helped me learn to value diverse opinions and appreciate stories and life experiences that are different from my own. We are a nation increasingly defined by our differences, be they color, political, religious, or economic. We forget that, despite our differences, we share what makes us human. The desire to love and be loved, to care for our families and children, to succeed by using the talents and abilities God has given us, and to live the best life possible. May God help us be better at seeing the best in others and giving our best to others. 

Each week I record five 1-minute messages about mental health and wellness, played on local radio stations. The goal is to promote mental health awareness and resilience. I try to be timely and tie the “mental health minute” to calendar or current events. This month, I recorded five of the minutes featuring quotes by Black leaders whose writings have impacted me. Here are the leaders, their quotes, and my brief application to mental health.  

Dr. Martin Luther King Junior: 

“I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright-daybreak-of-peace-and-brotherhood can never become a reality…. I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word.” 

When our country is increasingly polarized, decide to be a peacemaker. Find ways to build honest and understanding relationships. It is the most important thing you can do for our national mental health.  

Booker T Washington: 

“Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached-in-life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed.” 

One of the most destructive things we can do is compare ourselves to others. We always come up short. Set personal goals rather than using other people’s lives as a measuring stick for your success. Take stock of your own progress and let that be your motivation to take the next step.  

Maya Angelou: 

“Won’t it be wonderful when black history and Native American history and Jewish history and all of U.S. history is taught from one book…Just U.S. history.” 

The United States is and has been made up of the stories of countless individuals who have unique life experiences. Valuing that uniqueness can be healing. Validating someone’s story by honoring their life experience as truly important-and meaningful is essential to-a healthy-mature self-esteem. You have the power to make someone else know they matter.   

Barack Obama: 

“Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” 

One of the pieces of advice I give adolescents is stop blaming others for their problems and focus on how they can be the solution. When you blame others, you give away your power to fix things. When you focus on how you can solve problems you become a difference maker.  

W. E. B. Bu Bois: 

“Read some good, heavy, serious books just for discipline: Take yourself in hand and master yourself. Make-yourself do unpleasant things so as to gain the upper hand of your soul.” 

Depression makes us want to shut down. Push back against that urge. Challenge yourself to learn new skills, learn about new subjects that interest you, have experiences that open you up to new ways of thinking, or visit unfamiliar places. These all help us overcome depression and combat stress. 

Friends let us commit ourselves to widening our circle of fellowship, friendship and those who speak into our life to include people who have stories different from our own.  

Whose Time Is It Anyway?

Faith, Life, Topics in Leadership, Work
assorted silver colored pocket watch lot selective focus photo
Photo by Giallo on Pexels.com

I try, as best as I can to stay organized with “my” time. Being organized and efficient are some of the traits that typically make the “traits of effective leader” list. What I always tell people is, “getting organized isn’t the problem, it’s staying organized that gets,me.” My calendar and my to-do list are important tools. To keep track of my time I use Google Calendar. I can schedule my time from several devices and keep everything synced. I use Google Keep to create reminders and to-do lists.  I write out my to-dos and check them off on a regular basis.  The work ethic I inherited from my parents leads me to make sure I am being productive and getting things done. I try to make every hour count.

I’m not obsessive about it, but when there are interruptions or intrusions to my plan I can feel a little surge of anxiety or even frustration with the person or situation getting me off track.

Maybe the source of the discomfort is because I forget that the hours I have in the day aren’t really mine. They are given to me by the one who created time.

This week I had a couple “intrusions”  that gently reminded me that the the creator of time may have some things to add to my day. Early in the week I was hunkered down plowing through my to-do list. One of the crisis counselors at the  agency I am the director of ask for me to help with a person in crisis because all the other staff were tied up. My first thought was, “I don’t have time for this.”  Despite my initial reaction I jumped in to help. I did the crisis intervention, and for about an hour I had the privilege of entering into someone’s “valley of the shadow of death” (Psalm 23:4). It was a sacred time. This person, in complete trust, shared their deepest pain with me. I found myself feeling blessed by the opportunity to be a listening ear. I realized after the conversation that God had orchestrated this. He wanted me to be an extension of his grace to a suffering soul. This was better than anything on my list for the day.  The second happened as I was leaving the YMCA to get back home after working out. I had planned just enough  time to get in some exercise then get ready for a meeting. On my way out I ran into a friend. I did the quick “Hey how you doing?” Instead of the normal quick “okay” he chose to spend the time to actually share how he was doing. Once again, I felt that twinge of anxiety and my internal dialogue was , “shoot, I don’t have time for this.” I spent about 5 minutes listening and offering support. We parted ways with a smile and a “nice seeing you.” The conversation was not long but it was meaningful. It was enough time to demonstrate to my friend that I cared about him. Once again, a chance to reflect some grace into someone’s life. It was time not blocked out on my schedule but it was a sacred encounter.

So I will start a new work week again Monday.  I have my schedule and my to-do list. I am praying though, that I will be sensitive to God’s plan for what’s ahead and leave room for the creator of time to drop in a few interruptions.

Life Lessons from Stranger Things Season 4

Faith, Life, Mental Health, Organizational Culture
Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash

Life Lessons from Stranger Things Season 4

Friends can help you heal trauma.

Friends can help you overcome your personal demons.

Accepting the outsider can bring out the best in them.

Rumors kill.

For many, facts don’t matter, they only get in the way.

We marry our version of reality then we have to maintain it by only allowing in information that fits. Eventually we hear only what reinforces our version of reality and anything else is spun as a sinister lie.

Your enemies will try to get you to give up by breaking your will. You can outlast and overcome them with perseverance, problem-solving, courage, and tenacity.

Evil doesn’t give up easily. Actually, it doesn’t give up.

“Never underestimate the power of a small group of committed people to change the world. In fact, it is the only thing that ever has.” ~ Margaret Mead

” Greater love has no one than this; to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” ~ Jesus of Nazareth

Being Upheld When I Can’t Uphold Myself.

Faith, Life, Mental Health, Topics in Leadership, Work
Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash

Have you ever had one of THOSE weeks where your head, body, and confidence are all suffering? I wrote this a week ago:

This week  I’ve battled through a two-day headache, did an important presentation on the fly while not feeling great, been frustrated almost daily because our IT hardware is struggling to keep up with the demand making important meetings very awkward, felt like I fumbled through leading  our monthly all-team meeting (one of the most important things I do), and keenly felt the loss of our long time faithful finance director as we struggle to replace him.

While these things were all going on I was also dealing with a louder than normal nagging voice that tells me I am not enough, I am a weak leader, I don’t have what it takes, and people don’t like me.

By God’s grace I got through the week better than my head, body, and feelings told me I was doing. I wasn’t perfect but as I reflect on that week the reality is I don’t have to be perfect. I need to be faithful. The sacred writings of my faith tradition remind me that,

*When I am at my weakest my Creator is with me at his strongest.
*Though I stumble I am not utterly cast down.
*My Creator’s strength is made perfect in my weakness.
*My Creator’s right hand holds me up when I cannot hold myself up.
*My Creator will renew my strength.
*Though I walk through the valley…My Creator lends his rod to protect me and staff to guide me. 
*My Creator fights for me. All I need to do is be still.

This week I have felt better and thought better.
I have pressed into things with more vigor.
By God’s grace I will, one step at a time, keep moving forward remembering I do not walk alone. 

The Solution To Our Anger Problem

Faith, Life, Mental Health, Organizational Culture, The Church, Topics in Leadership, Work
photo credit kevin-gent-219197-unsplash

Love your enemies;
Love those who aggravate you;
Love those you have scorned;
Love those you envy;
Love those who disgust you;
Love those you think you are better than;
Love those you do not think work hard enough;
Love those you think use the system;
Love your political opponent;
Love your competitor.

Pray for your enemies;
Pray for those who aggravate you;
Pray for  those you have scorned;
Pray for those you envy;
Pray for those who disgust you;
Pray for those you think you are better than;
Pray for those you do not think work hard enough;
Pray for those you think use the system;
Pray for your political opponent;
Pray for your competitor.

If your enemy is hungry, feed them;
If the one who aggravates you is hungry, feed them;
If the one you scorn is hungry, feed them;
If the one you envy is hungry, feed them;
If the one who disgusts you is hungry, feed them;
If the one who you think you are better than is hungry, feed them;
If the one you do not think works hard enough is hungry, feed them;
If the one you think uses the system is hungry, feed them;
If your political opponent is hungry, feed them;
If your competitor is hungry, feed them.

Anger begets anger.

Do not be conquered by evil but conquer evil with good.

    That Still-Small Voice in My Head.

    Faith, Life, Topics in Leadership, Work
    Photo by Max Andrey from Pexels

    Deep inside of me there is a still small voice offering to guide me. The advice from the voice  is trustworthy.  It may caution me to not do something or on the other hand encourage me to take action.  There have been times in the last few weeks I’ve listened to it. When I have, I’ve wound up either being a big encouragement to a friend at just the time they needed it or communicating an important message of clarity to coworkers at the agency I lead. Just this week I was nudged by the voice to take some food to a friend who was ill. Because I listened, my wife and I  wound up being a major encouragement to her.

    I’ve also put off the voice. When I put off  the voice I find other types of outcomes. Sometimes it costs me some extra money  (this year the voice told me to double check my taxes. I didn’t. I wound up filing an amended return). Sometimes I miss the blessing of lifting someone’s spirit. 

    The voice is persistent. It can speak to me about the same advice for a long time.  I can avoid it or try to rationalize it. The voice though, is always speaking the truth.

    Why do I avoid it? Often it’s because of the other messages in my head.  Messages  I’m generating myself. They rise up from various places inside of me. Messages of fear, insecurity, pride, or avoidance. These voices are not my friends.  In fact, they never lead anywhere that is life-giving.

    In my faith tradition, the voice and messages  are easily explained. There is only one voice of truth. It’s a voice that embodies life at its fullest. It is the voice of the Creator. There are many other voices. They are voices that lead to anxiety, loss, and perpetual wanting. These voices are ultimately generated by darkness…life apart from one who created us.

    The little voice of truth is present and available to all of us. The problem is, we are too used to being driven by the other dialogue in our head. For instance, many of us live lives guided by messages of insecurity that lead us to compare ourselves to others. We feel inadequate so we are led by voices telling us to avoid looking stupid, to fight to get ahead, or try to finish before someone else in order to take the lead. Many of these messages rise up out of  painful memories, condemning messages from childhood, and our lack of practicing self-awareness.  As a leader I am often too easily enamored with the worries of what could happen. The voices I hear are fueled by fear. I can become so full of their message I stop leading and start reacting, which always leads to poor decision making.

    Most people who hear the still small voice of the Creator and who attend to it frequently would say that it takes discipline to quiet your mind and hear clearly. Disciplines that help hear the voice of the the Creator require you to slow down both mentally and physically. Often they are things such as journaling, meditation, reading, and prayer.  These practices over time, can quiet your mind and create the internal climate that makes it easier to hear the Maker’s still small voice of truth.

    Postscript:

    Today was one of those days. By mid morning my mind was crowded with the voices of discouragement and dread. Challenges with team cohesiveness, keeping up with the daunting changes in our industry, Covid-19, and staff burnout all seemed too big and I seemed too small. I knew that though the challenges were real, my perspective was making them worse. I was settling in on problems rather than seeking solutions. I called a friend, a fellow agency director, to talk it through. Out of the blue, the Creator used them to give me a very encouraging message that someone else had given them about me.  After that I recalled some of the ways God had spoken to me recently. Those two actions put me on more solid footing. We have to remember. The Creator doesn’t often give us the long term plan, rather, we are  given just enough for the next step. And that is exactly what we need.

    (Me) “Dear God Please Change my Coworkers.”(God) “Dear Jerry, Change Your Perspective.”

    Faith, Life, Organizational Culture, Topics in Leadership, Work
    Photo by Hybrid on Unspalsh

    A prayer 

    Dear God, I want a team  of coworkers made up of people who…

    1. They take ownership of their job.
      • They see and understand how their job fits into the agency mission. 
      • Their first thought is, “if it is to be it is up to me.”
      • They supervise and lead with the motto, “I won’t ask anyone to do anything I am not willing to do myself.”
      • Their first instinct in a problem situation is not to look for who to blame but rather think “how can I be the solution?”
      • They refuse to leave their work undone for someone else to clean up.
    2. They think “team”  before “self.”  
      • They speak in terms of “we”versus  “me .”
      • They know there is no “I” in the word “team”.
      • Their first thought is “How do my actions affect everyone else?”
      • They believe “I want to do my part and a little more to make sure the team is successful.”
    3. For my coworkers in leadership roles:
      • They take ownership of their team’s performance. 
      • They realize if you don’t take ownership you are not leading.
      • They know what conversations are part of leadership problem solving and aren’t ready to be shared with co-workers.
      • They know what is confidential and keep it confidential.
      • They can handle and participate in leadership conversations about money, benefits, staffing patterns, policies and procedures through the lens of the whole organization rather than the lens of self or their small part of the organization.
      • They know what to say and what not to say in meetings and to staff who are not managers. 
      • If they have an issue they bring it to their supervisor and do not share it with staff (causing gossip…drama).

    But God, I realize this list does not represent everyone on my team. What if you have put some of my frustrating coworkers on my team to teach me how to work with difficult people. Could it be that you are teaching me something through them? Could it be…

    • Some are there to teach me how to do confrontation in a humane restorative way.
    • Some are there to help keep my expectations of people realistic.
    • Some are there to help me grow in my capacity to understand how people’s life experience, past and present,  impacts their work
    • Some are there to teach me how to coach people step by step.
    • And some are there to teach me how to lead and manage a team by having hard conversations and making difficult decisions. 

    In the midst of all this you call me to be a servant leader. Help me to do this with love, compassion, truth, and honesty.

      Here Is What Your Enemies and Adversaries Can Do For You.

      Life, Organizational Culture, Topics in Leadership, Work
      kevin-gent-219197-unsplash

      Leaders, 

      Have you ever thought about how important your enemies are to you? If “enemies” is too strong of a word then think of the people in your organization, industry or community who oppose you with the most strength and frequency. Why are they so important? Because no one else in your life can do what they do for you. 

      Your greatest enemies give you:

      1. Regular opportunities to practice courage.  Sometimes thinking about our enemies  can lead us to experiencing fear or dread. This happens when we focus on how their actions could harm us or the organizations we lead. Practicing courage requires us to change our focus and to talk to ourselves rather than listen to ourselves. William Tecumseh Sherman is quoted to have defined courage as, “a perfect sensibility of the measure of danger, and a mental willingness to endure it.” It is likely your enemies, competitors, or opponents may be just as afraid of you as you are of them. Don’t simply focus on the power or leverage they have over you, but realize you too have power and leverage.  Sometimes we can get so focused on how we could be hurt  that we only see those aspects of our future. Choose, as General Sherman suggests, to push past that and explore your strengths and possibilities. Allow yourself to think outside the box. Get advice from a variety of types of sources. By focusing on what you can do rather than on what someone else might do to you will give you energy and help you grow in confidence. 
      1. The chance to hone your problem solving skills. A focus on problem solving versus a focus on the problem is a life practice that will make you better at all aspects of leadership.  It is easy to become enamoured with an obstacle,  or adversary  in our life and perseverate on how much damage they could do to us.  Having a clear sense of the dangers that we face is healthy and a survival skill, but we must pivot to solutions or we become stuck in the unproductive cycle of worry, fear and anxiety. Thankfully we can choose what we think about and how we think about it. It takes practice  but over time and repetition we can get better at  being solution-focused rather than problem-focused. A problem-focused approach sees the potential dangers ahead and becomes increasingly trapped by them. Being solution-focused acknowledges the danger ahead and immediately pivots to using our personal strengths, our relationships, our knowledge and wisdom to solve the issue. Being solution focused decreases anxiety while  generating positive energy and creativity.  
      1. The necessity to think tactically and strategically. Thinking strategically takes problem solving a little farther. It involves long range planning and requires a focus not only on solving the problem right in front of you but on changing how you operate in general. It helps you not only solve the initial problem but gives you a map to ultimately deal with the source of the problem. Your enemy may create many problems. Being strategic means pursuing a deeper understanding of your opponent’s personality, patterns, and motives. Being strategic usually means getting more people involved in helping you analyze your own position. A common and effective way to initiate the process is by doing a SWOT analysis. SWOT stands for strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats. With a team of people you trust to  give honest good advice, review these four items about yourself or your organization. From there you can begin the process of developing a longer range strategy that will make you problem solving even more fruitful.
      1. The opportunity to have your deficits exposed in order to overcome them. We have a tendency to hide our faults or not put ourselves in situations where we have to operate out of our deficits. Enemies may put you in a situation in which you have to wade into your deficits and either improve those areas of leadership or find functional adaptations for them. Leaders who are  unaware of their deficits or who ignore them set themselves up for difficultes. Enemies can keep us on our toes regarding our deficits as often those who oppose us come at us in areas we are weak. Honest self awareness can be your friend. Examine the areas of your leadership domains that you struggle with. Be honest about important facets of leadership that you neglect. Leading an organization requires attention to organizational culture, organizational climate, team member  morale, human resource management, legal compliance, ethical practice, fiscal dilligiance, political awareness, and many other subtle and not so subtle areas. You are not skilled in all of them and you aren’t able to focus on all of them. Seek help.
      1. The chance  to learn how some people are experiencing you. Thinking about how others experience us does not come naturally. We like to believe others see and feel our good intentions. The reality is they are experiencing  us through their own unique lens. This is one of the most surprising lessons I have learned over 16 years leading a nonprofit. People interpret and judge everything I do and say. Often their interpretations display mistrust and misgivings. The people I work with come in with a variety of preconceived notions, perceptions, expectations, and previous experiences with authority. We may create fear, doubt and distrust in others without even realizing it. As an organizational leader how often are your statements, even casual off the cuff remarks that you meant nothing by, interpreted completely differently than you intended? Consistent, fair, equitable, behavior that demonstrates a commitment to the agency’s mission and values and as much as possible the best interest of the employees is essential in gaining the trust of your co-workers. Your enemies’ experience and perceptions of you give you a chance to see how others may be thinking of you. This gives you the chance to act differently, in ways that will actually communicate what you are hoping to.  
      1. The opportunity to change the whole paradigm by practicing what Jesus taught, “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you (Matthew 5:44).” Not everyone reading this may share this as a value. But just think of it. What if, by changing how you viewed your enemy you were able to turn them into a valued collaborator? True, this may not be possible with everyone, however, “…as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone (Romans 12:18).”  Jesus teaches about his upside down kingdom where the “first shall be last (Mark 10:31),” and where the poor are blessed (Luke 6:20), where you’re encouraged to “turn the other cheek (Matthew 5:39),”  along with loving  and blessing those who are against you. This paradigm shift certainly has the chance to transform relationships.  As much as it may impact your enemy it may transform you even more. By  choosing to love the person who is against you, how you relate and respond to them changes. You become more generous, more empowered, and move  into a new level of freedom.   

      Friends as you go forward as a leader may your journey be blessed and may you be successful in turning your greatest adversaries into your greatest allies.