I have loved being the dad to three wonderful daughters.
For all my father friends out there, I began to think about all of the questions my 18 year old daughter asks me that I have no answer for. Here is a sample from the week leading up to prom:
Krista: “Is this dress too short?”
Me: “I thought it was a shirt.” (I’m guessing that means it’s too short)
Krista: “Do you think all I need to buy is eyeliner?”
Me: Blank stare.
Krista: “Should I wear heals or wedges?”
Me: “There’s a difference?”
Krista: “Should I wear a kimono over this shirt?”
Me: “Isn’t that Japanese?”
Krista: “Does Wal-Mart sell seamless underwear?”
Me: “I didn’t know they made that.”
Hang in there dads. Smile and enjoy your girls. They grow up way too fast. Be the kind of dad that they feel they can these kinds of questions to.
Tomorrow is Easter. I don’t have a vocabulary adequate enough to describe what the resurrection of Jesus meant for the universe. If you have the time, listen to the last 10 minutes or so so if this powerful sermon. You’ll get a glimpse of who King Jesus is. If you have 66 minutes to hear the full sermon you’ll hear some transforming truth about prayer, your life, and The King.
Let’s face it, no matter what role in life you find yourself in, there are times your problems seem much bigger than the resources you have to solve them. If you are like me, when those perilous stretches of time are pressing in I don’t sleep well, I don’t eat well, and I focus all my thoughts on how big the problems are and on how much power they have over me. The more I obsess on my difficulties the more dominance I allow them to have over me.
A few years ago the senior pastor of my church taught me a very powerful truth about problems. The truth is found in this simple phrase that resonates in my mind when difficult circumstances start to seem like they are going to have the upper hand. My pastor’s words of truth: “If you have a BIG GOD you’ve got small problems; If you have a small god you’ve got BIG PROBLEMS.” This simple phrase helps me move away from emphasizing the power of the predicaments in front of me and helps me focus on the resources I have around me and inside of me.
As leaders when we see the threats in front of us we must reposition our fear and focus on the opportunities and strengths of our organizations. Concentrate on gathering the collective energy and creativity of our staff to find new paths forward. As parents we need to always be looking at our children’s many gifts, talents, and passions rather than their few hang-ups. Doing so helps them grow into their best selves. It also helps them see themselves through the lens of capability rather than inability.
So friends, let’s be real here. Life is hard. Each day brings its share of trouble. But by God’s grace, and by focusing on the resources we have, we can move forward helping our organizations and families be overcomers rather than overcome.
Anyone in a leadership role has felt it. That sense of crushing pressure compressing on you by difficult circumstances. The pressure may be coming from internal or external forces. It may be complex and multifaceted. Either way, as the primary decision maker and problem solver for an organization, you feel the stress. We leaders respond to the pressure in different ways depending on our personalities or the make-up of our character. Some of us get angry and aggressive. Others get distant and distracted. Some get sick. Yet some of us, on good days, find a way to move through the stress and remain hopeful. The pressures and circumstances pushing on us stay the same, but we were able to see them differently. We see them as transient and manageable instead of fixed and intolerable.
If the stressors remain the same then what is it that allows a leader to handle the pressures more adaptively? The answer is in finding coping skills equal to the forces pushing on us. When I have the opportunity to speak to aspiring leaders I often tell them I have to take three kinds of medication to handle the pressures of my job. The medications I take are 1) regular exercise (usually running, 2) journaling, and 3) prayer/meditation. I find that when I am taking my medication regularly the very large, powerful, and frightening problems aren’t as daunting. It also seems that the greater the strength of the stress, the more I have to rely on my medication. When things are rough, I need more exercise, journaling, prayer, and meditation.
If you are a leader who is feeling overwhelmed and discouraged by the trials and difficulties in your job, try looking for some helpful medicine. I know leaders who paint, draw, write, run, do yoga, martial arts, meditate, pray, or participate in a drum circle. If you take the remedy regularly your problems may look much more solvable and your stress may feel much more tolerable.
It doesn’t matter what kind of a leadership role you are in whether it be parent, pastor, agency director or something else, discouragement can overtake you. Sometimes it overwhelms you. Usually when I am feeling down about my role at work or home it leads to a place of isolation, fatigue, and over-focusing on what’s wrong. I replay, “what I should have done.” For me the way out of the land of discouragement usually involves a little break, time with people who care about me, meditating on age old truths (I find in the Bible), and physical exercise. In this linked article Rick Warren does a nice job of describing how leaders get discouraged and some thought provoking ideas on bouncing back. http://pastors.com/gods-word-is-the-cure-for-discouraged-leaders/
The other morning I saw the most beautiful red sun I had seen in a while. It was perfectly round and swollen like it was ready to burst its powerful energy all across the sky . It made me think, “Now here is a clue that there is a creator. No one could make that. Something so perfect could not be random.”
My thoughts then wandered to what it means in Scripture when it says we are created in the image of God? Does humankind really reflect the image of the God who spoke that beautiful sun into existence? Does being created in the image of God mean we have the ability to create?
Though the Creator informs us we are made “in his image”, we are not able to to create like he does; however, we are able to co-create with him. We do this in many ways. The way most reflecting us as image bearers is through the act of making another human. Each gender reflecting aspects of the creator join together, “becoming one flesh” to produce another human. In no other way do we reflect God’s image than in the act of co-creating life. There are also other ways we, as image bearers, create new things. Though we cannot make the sun, we can create an image of one by painting a picture of a sunrise. We do not control the events that occur in people’s lives but we can use our imagination and create a story or a play that tells about the life events of others. We cannot make the birds or produce their beautiful songs but we can write music. Because of God’s creative power we can write poetry, build a house, or design a city. In all of these ways we share the capacity to make beautiful things just like the one of whose image we bear
So reader… write a poem, paint a picture, make up a story, design a machine, finish that book. By doing so you are joining the creator in adding to his marvelous universe.
There are times, too often I must say, when being a leader is mentally, emotionally, and spiritually draining. I need to replenish not just my mind and body, but also my soul. This morning was one of those times. I received help from a book I have recently been using as part of my meditation time– The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers, edited by Arthur Bennett. This morning the prayer, Spiritus Sanctus, helped revive me.
O Holy Spirit,
As the sun is full of light, the ocean full of water, Heaven full of glory, so may my heart be full of thee.
Vain are all divine purposes of love and the redemption wrought by Jesus except thou work within,regenerating by thy power, giving my eyes to see Jesus, showing me the realities of the unseen world.
Give me thyself without measure, as an unimpaired fountain, as inexhaustible riches. I bewail my coldness, poverty, emptiness, imperfect vision, languid service, prayerless prayers, praiseless praises. Suffer me not to grieve or resist thee.
Come as power, to expel every rebel lust, to reign supreme and keep me thine;
Come as teacher, leading me into all truth, filling men with ALL understanding;
Come as love, that I may adore the Father, and love him as my all;
Come as joy, to dwell in me, move in me, animate me:
Come as light, illuminating the Scripture, moulding me in its laws:
Come as sanctifier, body, soul and spirit wholly thine;
Come as helper, with strength to bless and keep, directing my every step;
Come as beautifier, bringing order out of confusion, loveliness out of chaos.
Magnify to me thy glory by being magnified in me, and make me redolent of thy fragrance.
I don’t know about you but I can relate to “busy. It’s busy with good things… work, volunteering, watching my daughter’s cross country race, meetings at church, or keeping the grass cut. If you are the kind of person who says “yes” then maybe you can relate. The problem is that too much busy pushes other important, more contemplative practices aside. This article by Frank Powell gives some good examples of what gets lost when we fill our days and lives too full. http://http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/6-reasons-you-seriously-need-slow-down
As a leader it so easy to side tracked. There are always competing agendas vying for your attention and energy. Thank you Etienne Toussaint for this nice reminder about staying on mission. It is just what I needed today. The Key to Becoming a Good Leader
