Category Archives: Faith

Community: A cool cloth on a warm forehead. 

Faith, Life, The Church

This is a story of the healing  power of a supportive community.  About how the Creator works  through the care and  compassion of family, neighbors and friends.

So this past week my wife, Jane, was diagnosed with both the flu (influenza b) and  pneumonia. She  was very sick. I had  not seen her this ill  in our 27 years of marriage. Her body was failing fast. Our family physician prescribed medications  but in the initial 24 hour period after seeing him she got worse. I was worried. This is when we began to experience the unseen hand of God through the care of compassion of family and friends.

Family.  First, on Saturday, the day after seeing our family doctor, my sister-in-law, Gail, called. She had pneumonia a few years ago and was really worried about Jane. Because she had experienced pneumonia, Gail was able to tell Jane’s symptoms were reaching a critical place and she encouraged me to call for  more help.  I did and we wound up in our local emergency department (E.D.).

Neighbors.  Because we live in a wonderful small town, the first person we see in the E.D. is our neighbor who is a nurse there. She settled us in and was able to get Jane set up with some ice and a warm blanket. The second person we encountered was the nurse who provided the rest of Jane’s care.  Wouldn’t you know,  she too is a friend. She volunteers at the local domestic violence shelter that is part the organization I work for. She set Jane up with fluids, blood work, and other medications as directed by the physician.  I am sure we would have gotten great care by anyone at our local hospital; however, as God would have it, it was provided by two people who knew us, and because of that, were able to make things all the more comfortable. After a couple hours of good treatment  at the E.D. Jane was stabilized and we were able to go home.

Friends.  Because of my concern about Jane I had sent out an email asking for prayer  to our small group from the church we attend. I also told our neighbors from across the street, Tom and Patty,  who have become dear friends of ours.  Patty leads a   Bible study that Jane is a part of. Within a  few minutes of us returning home from the E.D. Tom brought over a hot meal for Jane and I to share. Within an hour of being home Jane’s Bible study group sent her a text saying the members where bringing us dinner every night this past week and outlined who would be bringing it. Our small group sent texts, calls, food and a novel for Jane to read while she was stuck on the couch. A coworker of Jane’s dropped off a meal. Our niece dropped off soup. Our daughter stopped by with cake and flowers. The entire eight days Jane was down we felt a daily portion of love, mercy, and grace from the Creator through people. We felt it not only from the gifts that met our physical needs but also from the prayers and words of encouragement that  filled us spiritually.

Its been a  week. Jane is on the road to recovery. I have gotten to experience first hand the power of community. I read so often about how God works through people; about how love is the most powerful force in the universe. This past week I lived it. Because I have felt what a difference it can make, I am compelled  to pass it along.

 

Love Each Other or Perish

Faith, Life, Mental Health, Topics in Leadership, Work

My wife made this for my office. I wanted this message to be the first thing people see when they walk in. Its from Mitch Albom’s book Tuesday’s with Morrie. The author is paraphrasing Morrie’s favorite poet W.H. Auden in his poem September 1, 1939. 

Negative emotions, whether they be jealousy, resentment, envy, greed, or  unhealthy pride tear agencies and businesses apart. So often as an agency director, whether it be at my organization or another,  I have seen destructive  emotions lead to divisions between individuals and teams . These dark feelings, when harbored,  stifle the ability of an organization to accomplish its mission. Conflicts and disagreements are necessary and healthy. They are often the fuel for the energy that leads to healthy change. But in the end, it is things like truth, forgiveness, humility, and kindness that create the organizational climate and culture for staying power and growth in an organization.

 

Dinner in the Circle

Faith, Life, The Church, Work

During the school year, on the first and third Wednesdays, from 5:30 PM to 7:00 PM , after I get off work, I help serve meals at a local church.  The food is great; things like homemade soup, spaghetti, baked potatoes with toppings, tacos, lasagna, and other wonderful dishes. They are served with a side, dessert, and drink. The cost is $3 for an individual and $12 for a family of four or more. The people who prepare the meals, serve the meals, bus the tables, wash the dishes, and clean up afterward are the best people I know. There are seven or so of them. They come from all walks of life. A teacher, a local election board employee, a medical  office manager, a steel worker, a director of nursing, a retired factory worker, and an accounting clerk. They serve food, handout drinks, and visit with the guests, There is a table of 80-90 year old widows, single mom’s thankful they don’t have to cook that night, grandparents helping to raise grand-kids, retired couples, families of all shapes and sizes. The atmosphere of the meal is like oxygen. People are smiling, laughing, and encouraging one another. The people serving work together like a well oiled machine.

No matter how tired, grouchy, or worried I am when I  get there, I feel better by 7:00 PM. It’s kind of counter-intuitive but after the 90 -120 minutes of work  I am happy and my soul feels full. I have read that the evidence that God is in the midst of something is that is characterized by this: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,  gentleness, and self-control. These are the words I would use to describe the meal and those I work with to put it on. I am thankful I get to be part of it. 

Some Things I learned About Teenagers this Weekend

Faith, Life, The Church

My wife and I are just coming off spending MLK weekend with 100 teenagers at an outdoor camp in rural Richland County Ohio.  The area is surrounded by state park forests and private farm land.  The youth pastor of our church asked us to help out with the youth group’s annual  winter event known as “Snow Retreat”. Jane and I have always loved working with teenagers. I guess it makes us feel young. As the weekend wore on I started to notice a few realities about the teens there  that run may contrary to what we often think about today’s youth.

  1. Despite video games, virtual reality  and social media, kids still love to play real, authentic, live games  and have crazy fun doing so. All weekend long there were rousing games going on. Some were new generation games like hantis , gaga ball, and 9 square in the air;  some were old generation games like basketball and dodgeball; some were table sports like pool, air-hockey, and ping-pong; some were  table games like, euchre or Uno. The kids didn’t seem to miss their cell phones or complain they couldn’t get a signal. They were having to too much fun to realize it.
  2. Kids love being outside. I led a  hike up to a local summit. Not only did several kids sign up to go on the hike but they loved it. They seemed to be invigorated by the long, cold hike and were taking pictures at the top so they could  show their friends their accomplishment. Some of the younger kids had a blast rolling down the very tall peak we were on. They were also totally intrigued by the natural spring that provided a marvelous flow of clean water at the near the bottom of the peak.
  3. When given a safe space to do so, kids will share their story. There were three times we met in small groups with the teenagers  this weekend. The theme for the weekend was “Being Good Soil”. The speaker challenged to youth to consider what barriers they have that prevent them from being all that God has created them to be. In the small groups the youth supported each other as they talked about their lives and the struggles they have. It was such a privilege to simply be a listening ear to support them as they shared.
  4. Kids want to find a deeper meaning to their life.  Dan Perkins (2007)* identifies four questions that teenagers are wrestling through. Teens are asking  Who am I?   Am I normal? Am I competent? Am I lovable and loving? The many conversations I had the students this weekend reflected this quest. Teenagers want to live lives that matter and that make a difference in the world.
  5. Teens are not afraid of hard work. Throughout the weekend the teens at camp cleaned tables and moved equipment. On the last day they cleaned bathrooms, cleaned cabins, loaded trailers with heavy equipment, swept floors, and took out garbage. They worked together, and  had a good time doing it.
  6. Don’t judge a book by its cover.  There are always kids who stay in the margins. Who have trouble fitting in and then take on the “outsider” role. I had the chance to speak with a young man who fits this category. I asked questions. Listened to his story. Found out a lot about him. I found out this young “outsider” is really a sensitive, kind young man who has tremendous strengths. Several of us adults came up with some ways to us his strengths help him feel part of the group.
  7. God is at work. What often seems like problems are  really  God rearranging  the plan we came up with to replace it with his perfect plan. An example is that the main speaker for the weekend got sick and could not come. Our youth pastor stepped right in. He delivered the message that God had for the teens there this weekend.
  8. God is in pursuit.  Over and over this weekend I heard “God is really trying to tell me….” or “God is saying ….to me.” Though it may seem irrational to some, I witnessed a loving, comforting, affirming God reach out and speak to the young people he has so fearfully and wonderfully made.

 

  • Perkins, D. F.  (1997, 2007). Adolescence: The Four Questions. University of Florida, IFAS Extension. FCS 2117.   (http://moodle.ecampusalberta.ca/groups/file.php/13/the_four_questions.pdf)

 

Being a Thankful Leader

Faith, Topics in Leadership, Work

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I spend a lot of  time at work thinking about  problems. Problems from funding changes, to regulatory changes, to juggling the budget, to trying to hire good staff in the midst of a statewide workforce shortage, to making sure our agency is on the forefront of meeting the housing, trauma recovery, and mental health needs of our community. There are many times it feels overwhelming. Today though, on Thanksgiving, I want to take the time to share the specific blessings I experienced this year.

  • After more than a year of looking for a full time  psychiatrist God provided a great one. He is a wonderful team player and his patients love him.
  • One of our key administrators moved and we were able to find a highly qualified replacement who is a great problem solver.
  • This week two experienced social workers walked in and applied for jobs we had openings for.
  • This week a great employee who had taken another job came back.
  • We had an opening for a cleaning position and were able to fill it with a real go-getter who had just lost hours at another job.
  • After looking for a support staff for several weeks we just hired a really dynamic candidate.
  • Our clinical director has created a tight-knit  team of counselors and case managers that work together and get great results.
  • Our HR manager  has developed a fantastic orientation for new employees and is putting together a great recruitment and retention plan.
  • Our domestic violence shelter has started several new support groups.
  • A state and local grant allowed us to expand services to our county jail.
  • After a major local tragedy our agency was able to provide critical incident stress support to several local groups.
  • We have opportunities to expand our equine therapy program.
  • This year we partnered with our local schools to start a kindergarten readiness program.
  • We’ve identified several other partnerships we can develop to have an even greater impact in our community.
  • Our financial statements look solid.
  • Our shelter director had gotten new grants and strengthened funding for all its programs.
  • We have purchased new billing software which will strengthen our accounts receivable.
  • We’ve been nominated for social service agency of  the year through our local chamber of commerce.

So many blessings. So many answers to prayer.

Personally I’m blessed with an amazing wife and soulmate. I have three amazing daughters. I’m blessed with friends, a great church and opportunities  to use the gifts God has given me.

May all if you have a peaceful Thanksgiving. Let’s also try to count our blessings a lot more often.

When Your World Gets Rocked

Faith, Life, Mental Health

stress-jeremy-thomas-unsplash

It is likely to happen to to all of us at least once.  One of the things that has given us a sense of security in life goes away. It may by the loss of a job, the loss of a loved one, the loss of our home, the loss of our health or the loss of an election. When it happens we are filled with emotions that range from disbelief, to fear, to anger, to despair. I have seen it happen to many people over the years. One of the most frequent places I saw it was when I worked at a psychiatric hospital that had a program for older adults. Men and women who came there were seeking help  for depression, anxiety, psychotic disorders  or suicidal thinking.

As time went on I started to see a pattern in the people we worked with. They were all in their 70s and 80s. They all had similar patterns of loss. It may have began with retirement from a job that had given them a sense of purpose, followed by health issues that prevented them from being as active as they once were, followed by giving up their home for a smaller living space, followed by the death of friends who were also aging, and then often the the final straw, giving up their driver’s license.

What was interesting about this process was this: though many of the older adults had similar losses and came into the program with similar despondency, some of them got better while others continued to struggle. As I spent time with the individuals in the program  I noticed that those who got better had developed  resources that were  more deep and enduring than their losses. They had well to draw from that ran deeper than their circumstances. Resources that were stronger than their losses. The sources of strength centered around three themes.

The first resource was emotionally intimate relationships. Even  though the death of a spouse was common theme, the older adults who got better had grown roots in other relationships. Their soul mate was gone but they had children, grand children, siblings and friends who buoyed them  in the loss. People they could cry with, vent to, and be themselves with. Though they felt the loss of their spouse or loved one,  they knew they were not alone in their pain.

The second resource was meaningful activity. Some of the folks had hobbies such as building simple furniture to give to those in need, others volunteered at Head Start and cradled preschoolers who were having a rough day,  some were in service clubs, others made candy and gave it away, some gardened or even had a part time job. What made the activity a resource for healing was that it involved generosity. Whatever the activity was, it gave them a sense of putting something good back into the world.

The final resource was a strong spiritual practice. This often included prayer, reading sacred texts, and participating in religious services with like minded believers.  What this resource gave those who got  better was  a place to go with all of the questions that had no answer and  with a way to make sense of a very difficult and sometimes complicated life. It was this resource that allowed the older adults to experience a sense that though their world felt like it was falling apart, there was a greater power at work that could and would hold them together.

The lessons I learned a few years ago from some 70 and 80 year old sojourners was that three things made a difference. Relationships, activities that provide a sense of purpose, and a  practicing  faith in God. I encourage us all to invest in these  resources. That way when difficult times rock our world, we will have the strength we need to cope.

Whose time is it anyway?

Faith, Life, Topics in Leadership, Work

 

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I try, as best as I can to stay organized with “my” time. Being organized and efficient are some of the traits that typically make the “traits of effective leader” list. What I always tell people is, “getting organized isn’t the problem, it’s staying organized that gets,me.” My calendar and my to-do list are important tools. To keep track of my time I use Google Calendar. I can schedule my time from several devices and keep everything synced. I use Google Keep to create reminders and to-do lists.  I write out my to-dos and check them off on a regular basis.  The work ethic I inherited from my parents leads me to make sure I am being productive and getting things done. I try to make every hour count.

I’m not obsessive about it, but when there are interruptions or intrusions to my plan I can feel a little surge of anxiety or even frustration with the person or situation getting me off track. Maybe the source of the discomfort is because I forget that the hours I have in the day aren’t really mine. They are given to me by the one who created time.

This week I had a couple “intrusions”  that gently reminded me that the the creator of time may have some things to add to my day. Early in the week I was hunkered down plowing through my to-do list. One of the crisis counselors at the  agency I am the director of ask for me to help with a person in crisis because all the other staff were tied up. My first thought was, “I don’t have time for this.”  Despite my initial reaction I jumped in to help. I did the crisis intervention, and for about an hour I had the privilege of entering into someone’s valley of the shadow of death. It was a sacred time. This person, in complete trust, shared their deepest pain with me. I found myself feeling blessed by the opportunity to be a listening ear. I realized after the conversation that God had orchestrated this. He wanted me to be an extension of his grace to a suffering soul. This was better than anything on my list for the day.  The second happened as I was leaving the YMCA to get back home after working out. I had planned just enough  time to get in some exercise then get ready for a meeting. On my way out I ran into a friend. I did the quick “Hey how you doing?” Instead of the normal quick “okay” he chose to spend the time to actually share how he was doing. Once again, I felt that twinge of anxiety and my internal dialogue was , “shoot, I don’t have time for this.” I spent about 5 minutes listening and offering support. We parted ways with a smile and a “nice seeing you.” The conversation was not long but it was meaningful. It was enough time to demonstrate to my friend that I cared about him. Once again, a chance to reflect some grace into someone’s life. It was time not blocked out on my schedule but it was a sacred encounter.

So I will start a new work week again Monday.  I have my schedule and my to-do list. I am praying though, that I will be sensitive to God’s plan for what’s ahead and leave room for the creator of time to drop in a few interruptions.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Glimpses of the Kingdom

Faith, Life, The Church

krista-and-friends

This past week I saw glimpses of God’s Kingdom. What am I talking about you may ask? First of all it  had absolutely nothing to do with Republicans or Democrats. Nothing to do with commerce, tax plans, borders, boundaries, or talent acquisition. The glimpses I saw had to do with quiet, simple acts of kindness and generosity. Some of them happened in places no one was looking. Let me share four examples with you. Example one. Early this week we experienced a major clog in our kitchen double sink drain/disposal. It was my fault. I’d tried to flush down a huge pile of rice noodles. They got hung up in some grease on way down the drain. I plunged, took the under-the-sink PVC apart, plunged again, all to no avail. I called a locally renown appliance repairman. He happens to go to my church. I explained the dilemma to his wife who relayed the information to him. Based on his experience he thought it was a plumbing issue rather than the disposal malfunctioning. He told me to use two plungers. I only had one. He said “I’ll be right over.” He came over and in 10 minutes using boiling water, dish detergent, and bleach had it open. When I went to pay him he replied, “No charge. We love you guys.” Example two. I got an out-of-character text from a friend. He asked to meet me for lunch. I was a little nervous because his request implied something was going on and I wasn’t sure what it was. When we met he shared he had recently been struggling with panic attacks. In the middle of Wendy’s he bore his soul. He talked about his fears and stressors. I was able to encourage him and give him some resources to help cope. I’ll be following up regularly. Example three. For three hours  twice a month on Saturdays, fifteen or so people volunteer to hang out with children are physically handicapped so their parents can have time to recharge. These adults, all who could be doing other things, choose to  walk laps, paint pumpkins, play with sand, eat pizza, and whatever else it takes to help the kids have a great time. Parents return recharged and the children have a  great night with new friends. Example four. This week two Ashlanders relayed to me the account of how, for the past two years, they had  befriended a troubled individual in our town who was marginalized and distanced by others. These two Ashlanders determined, based on the leading of the Creator, to love this person rather than try to change them. They relayed that by doing this, even when it was difficult, they saw the individual slowly soften and begin to be more reflective and loving of others.

There you have it. Four short instances in the span of seven days that are reminders that in spite of all that looks dark out there, God is regularly using everyday people to shine his light. My advice, be on the lookout and choose to participate.

God is at work 

Faith, Life, The Church

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Despite the tempestuous ramblings, mudslinging, and doomsday forecasting, irregardless of which U.S. candidate wins the presidency, the Church is still the Church. It is alive in this world and at work. It works inside the world  like yeast or like salt. It is not political. It is not government. It is a community of disciples.  It is the love manifested first in Christ,  reaching out, loving others, worshiping God and serving. Bringing his kingdom to earth, one person, one neighborhood, one village at a time. Praise God.

Community

Faith, Life

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I am reflecting on the blessing of living in a town where in a seven day span several hundred people gather to hear the local symphony and choir celebrate our nation’s birthday, dozens of local businesses and hundreds of residents partner with the Rotary Club to put on an amazing fireworks display, a team made up completely of volunteers put on a three day hot air balloon festival, the high school cross country teams have a 5K to raise money and scores of runners from the area participate, 100 Harley riders join forces to raise a couple thousand dollars for the local domestic violence shelter, and area vintage car enthusiasts fill the downtown in an event to demonstrate our town is someplace special. All of this happening with law enforcement and civilians working side by side.

These things are happening at the same time our country is grieving multiple tragedies. I lift up prayers for my fellow Americans and their communities that are experiencing turmoil and strife. May God’s healing, peace, humility, and power of forgiveness prevail.