Christmas Blessings from the Meek

Faith, Life

Every Christmas, for the past several years we have spent the first part of the morning at a community breakfast for people who don’t have anywhere else to go. Our daughters, now in their twenties, look forward to it as much as any other part of Christmas day. The large room is filled with smiles, great conversation and a grand dose of Christmas spirit. Those present have become an annual group of regulars; people from all walks of life, all with an interesting story to tell. The guests not only enjoy the hearty breakfast but also look forward to receiving a generous gift bag. The gifts range from hats, gloves, and scarves to candy and fruit.  The past few years the host church has given away hams and turkeys, which for the folks in attendance, is a special treat.

Being an extreme extrovert my favorite part of the morning is conversing with the guests so that I hear their story and know them more personally. Yesterday when we arrived I was immediately drawn to strike up a conversation with a lady dressed in a bright red sweater who was also wearing a pair of large sunglasses because she was visually impaired. She was there with her husband and grandson. Her name was Fran* and she was a great conversationalist. Not only did Fran share her story, but she was genuinely interested in hearing mine. I don’t know her age but I am guessing Fran and her husband are in their early 60s. I found out Fran has family in upstate New York and had lived near my sister-in-law. Their story included 17 years of employment at a factory in Ashland that ended when her husband had an injury on the job. Before he could return to work the company went out of business.  She and her husband became homeless after the job loss. She shared they had been homeless two times during their life together and had many other struggles including a very long bout with severe depression, failing eyesight, and other health issues. They now live on a very limited income but are comfortable in a small apartment.

I came away from my visit with Fran very enriched. I was enamored by four things about her: her joy, her story, her spiritual perspective, and her prophetic voice. Fran was joyful. She smiled often, laughed easily, and gave out encouragement like a generous millionaire. She was so happy I was familiar with the part of New York she had lived that she chatted with her husband about the connection we were making. Her joy was woven into her story. Here is a person who had been homeless, suffered from debilitating depression for years, had lost most of her eyesight, and yet in the same breath declared enthusiastically “but God is so good.” Her husband joined in at this point and recounted how at every turn, when they were experiencing the lowest points of their lives, God provided for them. They discussed how a friend had given them a place to live, a church helped them with an apartment, Fran found a job right after her husband lost his, and how God had healed her from depression. At this she got very quiet and seemed to mouth a prayer of thanks. She didn’t go into detail but she indicated that the depression had been long and very dark. She then looked up and told me that in that dark depression God had revealed himself through a song. Right there, on the spot, quietly so only I and her husband could hear her, she sang it. Fran had experienced a very personal encounter with the Maker of All Things. Her confidence and her joy were not fake. They were supernatural.

As it was getting to be time for Fran and her husband to go I stepped away from their table. They both shook my hand and told me how they enjoyed talking with me. I told them I had been blessed by our conversation. But I had one more blessing to go. As we three were standing there ready to part ways Fran unexpectedly grabbed me by the shoulders. She bowed her head and began to pray. She prayed a prayer of blessing over me. She spoke her prayer with a voice of authority. It came out of a heart experienced in spiritual matters. Her prayer was personal and powerful. I felt the blessing she transferred to me. Thank you Fran for freely giving what you have received.

*Name was changed to preserve anonymity

For Leaders Battling Negative Thoughts: “If You Know How To Worry, You Know How To Meditate.”

Faith, Life, Mental Health, Topics in Leadership, Work
Photo by Dingzeyu Li on Unsplash

The pastor of the church I attend the shared the quote in the title one time and it has always stuck with me. I know after thirteen years of being the director of a not-for-profit mental health center, in leadership, there are plenty of things to keep your eye on.  Being aware of what is wrong or what could go wrong is part of the job. Thinking about those things can easily become an exercise in ruminating about the worst possible outcome.

I am not, by nature, a worrier, but there are times when a worry gets lodged in my mind and I can’t get rid of it. It just grows and grows, eventually stifling and suffocating my thoughts with its pervasiveness and robbing me of joy. I had that experience this weekend. It started on Friday.

  1. My Friday had been made up of  back to back intense meetings. 
  2. I had a conversation around noon that led me to begin to perseverate on doom and gloom. My mind was just starting the process of ruminating on bad things happening.
  3. Around 3:15 pm, after a non-stop schedule, my brain needed a quick break.  About that time I read a message from a local faith based group. It was part of a verse from the prophet Isaiah, “I  have made you and I will carry you. I will sustain you and rescue you.” 
  4. My spirit immediately connected to the reassuring words. It was the kind of expedience in which you sense the Maker-of-all-things heard your struggle and sent a gentle reminder to encourage you. 
  5. Over the next 44 hours the message of doom and gloom peddled hard for supremacy in my head. I recognized it and tried hard to replace it with the words from Isaiah I had been comforted with on Friday,  “I  have made you and I will carry you. I will sustain you and rescue you.”
  6. I continued to work at replacing the fatalistic thoughts with the encouraging phrase I had been given. When your mind is in this struggle you have to be persistent about reframing the negativity. It takes focus. On Sunday around noon a new perspective broke through. It cleared the path for problem solving and relaxation.
  7. I have not gone back to the doom and gloom thoughts. They have tried to come back but I focus on the truth of that phrase from Friday.

Sometimes I get asked to speak to a group about how to cope with stress. I tell them that for me it is not easy. My job is so stressful I have to take three kinds of medication in order to manage. When I say that, people get a worried look on their face. They relax though when I tell the medications are exercise, journaling, and prayer-meditation. It’s the third one that helped me get through this last bout of worry and fear. 

If you are a worrier remember, if you know how to worry you know how to meditate. You can find truthful words to meditate on by reading classic literature, Scripture, or poetry.  It is about putting good things into your head and focusing on them when worry wants to take over. Also remember, the Maker-of-all-things is here to help you and remind you that you are not in this alone. 

Leadership, walking in the unknown.

Faith, Mental Health, Topics in Leadership, Work
Photo by Joe Beck on Unsplash

Thursday and Friday of last week I attended the annual conference of the trade association our agency affiliates with. The theme was essentially how to adapt to monumental changes facing the Ohio community mental health system. The speakers were sharing insights into how organizations such as the one I work for could best navigate the unknown waters we, as an industry,  are entering. I knew many people there. We shared conversations about how the companies they worked for were adapting to change. There was a sense of fear in some, a sense of opportunity in others. Everyone seemed to accept that business as usual is over.

I must admit I am nervous about how the changes are going to affect the organization I work for. Can we adapt? More unsettling to me is the question, “can I lead us through this?” It is easy to follow my fears down the dark hole they lead to. But fear is not the path of life, or light or creation. Fear suffocates creativity. Fear sees only the walled off end of a dark ally. 

The changes that are at our doorstep mean that the old ways of doing things won’t work. So we turn our gaze to where the light is; to where the creativity of our team, the guidance of our partners, and the voice of our community leads us. We examine everything, beginning with our assumptions about “how we do things around here.” We draw on the amazing capacity and ingenuity of our coworkers to solve problems. We keep everyone informed and seek input from all members of our team. We build bridges, strengthen relationships, and partner with others to offer solutions to their needs. 

I am blessed to work with amazing people. By the grace of God I will lead them. We will face the changes that are upon us with our minds alert, our gaze forward, our hands solving problems, and our work making a difference for our community. 

Every Day You Are a new Person.

Faith, Life, Mental Health, Work

Every morning you wake up you are a new person. You’ve just finished a lifetime of conversations, interactions, observations, and experiences.

  • Let all of those things instruct you.
  • Learn from them. 
  • You can take a different course today.
  • You can react to adversity in a new and more informed way.
  • You can be more gracious in responding to others.
  • You can recognize fears inside of you and set them aside so your decisions are not based on fear.
  • You can see setbacks as giving you direction toward your divine path rather than seeing them as examples of your failure.

Remember, if you are alive, your story is still being written. Today starts a new page. You get to write on it. Find your voice. Take steps toward healing and wholeness.  Look for ways to use your strengths.  The Creator of Life is ready to walk with you. 

    My Experience with Co-workers in their 70s.

    Uncategorized

    I have had the privilege of having a few co-workers who are in their 70s. That generation are members of the demographic known as traditionalists and are some of the best team members I have ever had. They bring a steadiness and stability to the work environment. They are characterized by,

    • showing up for work early,
    • staying until their shift is over,
    • rarely using sick time (they don’t see having a head ache as a reason to stay home),
    • following the chain of command,
    • bringing no drama to the work environment,
    • and taking pride in working hard.

    Most people in their 70s have retired. But the few I’ve worked with stay in the workforce because they want to. They have a skill set, years of experience, and a desire to do something they consider meaningful with their time. I have been enriched by them. Not only have they taught me about work, but even more so, about how to approach living. They have shaped my view of having a “mission” in life.

    As I move through my 50s, my perspective of how to approach the next several years God gives me is being informed by my septuagenarian co-workers. I pray I can have as positive and meaningful impact on the people around me as they do. Life is a marathon not a sprint. By God’s grace I want to ready myself, like my 70 year old co-workers, for an impactful long run.

    Leadership: A Short List of Things I was Reminded of this Week.

    Topics in Leadership, Work
    1. If you are a leader, manager, or administrator, make sure you communicate the what, when, where, and why of any changes, big or small, you are making in the organization. Do it as far in advance as you can. Do it  no matter whether its your whole team or just a few people that will be affected by the change.
    2. Take time to thank God for people who are committed to the mission of your organization and who take pride in a job well done. They are your organization.
    3. Employees from the traditionalist generation are a blessing. Their wisdom is priceless.
    4. Make every effort to get the sleep and rest you need. You’re a better decision maker when you are fully rested (in mind and body).
    5. Pray like it all depends on God and prepare like it all depends on you.
    6. When you’re struggling to get something done, ask for help. 

    The Battle of Leading.

    Topics in Leadership, Work

    Keep Striving

    I use the phrase “battle of leading” because for me leadership often feels like battling. It involves struggle, it involves confrontation, it involves striving, it involves contending and campaigning. It involves having difficult conversations with an employee who is off track when it would be easier to just let them be. It involves leading a team through major procedural changes rather than letting someone else take the heat. It involves listening and trying to learn from staff who are unhappy with how things are going rather than avoiding.

    I am intrigued by other leaders who  also describe their journey in leadership the same way. Abraham Lincoln, Winston Churchill, and Martin Luther King Jr. come to mind. I can’t really compare what I do to the kinds of issues those leaders faced, however I relate to  the mental focus and self discipline they had to use in order to accomplish their great missions.

    Leading is full of hard things. For instance this week I am thinking about several issues that lie in the path of my agency. How do we make a high cost department that the community relies become fiscally efficient? How can we recruit employees who will align with our culture and mission? Given major changes in third party reimbursement, what kind of organizational structure and business model will be most effective in two years? The answers to such questions are dynamic. In other words I have to keep answering these questions because what works today will not be what works in 12 or 24 months.

    Leading is hard, but it is worth it. Some people cut corners or try to coast. I do not know how a leader could be successful by doing that. To move your organization forward you have to be in the fight. You have to be striving along side the rest of your team. If you don’t strive with them they eventually will not respect you. 

    Leaders,
    Focus on your agency’s mission, serve your team, encourage others, celebrate every success no matter how small, and take one day at a time. The Creator will give you the strength you need for each day and when you look back you’ll be amazed at how far you’ve come. 

    The Glue of Life…and Work.

    Life, Mental Health, Topics in Leadership, Work

    Trust

    Stephen Covey writes “Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.” (First Things First, 1994, p. 203)

    I don’t see any way around it. When you are leading an organization, you have to trust people. No matter how talented you are, you do not have the specific knowledge required to do all of the tasks that make your business go round. You must trust others to get things done. I am being reminded of this daily, especially lately. The agency I work for launched two new major systems in the last few months. One is an electronic payroll system and the other is an electronic medical record. Though I was part of the selection and initial implementation, the day to day operation, programming, and ongoing development of the systems is being done by a small team of amazing staff. They have a knack and an aptitude for it.  I am also completely relying on them. Our agency is blessed because they are trustworthy, ethical, dedicated and diligent.

    What I find interesting is the trust required on my part. I ask questions every day, lots of questions. But in the end, I have to trust them to do the work. I trust them to figure things out and get things done. I trust their integrity, their work ethic, and creativity. They in turn, are empowered by  my trust in them. My trust acknowledges their capability and expertise. 

    According to Erik Erickson trust is the first and most basic stage of development (Identity and the Life Cycle, 1959, p. 57).  Erickson writes that without the ability to trust a person cannot develop healthy personality. After 20 years in organizational leadership I would say the same is true of business. A business cannot be healthy unless there is trust at all levels of leadership and staff. Without the giving and receiving of trust an organization is just a collection of people all competing as individuals to accomplish their own agenda. With trust that collection of individuals can become a team moving in the same direction to accomplish a shared mission for the good of each other and the community.

    Covey has it right. Trust is essential for holding relationships together and allowing people to move in the same direction.  It is the glue that facilitates shared agendas and shared goals. As an agency director I strive to trust and be trust worthy. It may be my most important job. 

    Myths of Your Leadership Identity

    Faith, Topics in Leadership, Work

    Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash

    Henri Nouwen, a Catholic Priest and insightful contemplative author talks about the Five Lies of Identity: 1) I am what I have. 2) I am what I do. 3) I am what other people say or think of me. 4) I am nothing more than my worst moment. 5) I am nothing less than my best moment.

    I have to confess. As an organizational leader I have struggled with each one of the lies listed by Nouwen. I compare myself or the agency I work for to others and come up short.  I take my professional self too seriously and forget who I really am. I often focus too much on making sure people like me. I often give too much credibility to my failures and not enough credit to the gifts and talents God has given me.

    There is a lot of pressure in being a leader. But greater than the pressure is the gift of being able to support, encourage, and serve others through that role. The truth about myself as a leader is that in my job I  have ups and downs, wins and losses, good days and bad days.  The value I have is given to me by my the Creator. It is not found in my position at work or most recent success.  My job is to be a faithful steward for the agency and people I serve. It is to  speak the truth in love, to help others be their best ,  and guide the organization I lead through the many challenges and toward the many opportunities it has in order to accomplish its mission. What a privilege.

    Every Day, For Your Staff…

    Topics in Leadership, Work

    Photo by Rakicevic Nenade

    If you supervise people they want to know that you care about them. They want to know you notice their hard work. They want to know you understand their daily on-the-job experience. Even the most loyal employees can become ambivalent about their job if they sense their direct supervisor doesn’t care. I have seen first hand what happens when great employees feel neglected and ignored. Over time they start to look for another work environment where they’ll be appreciated. One way to help your team feel cared for is by consistently and frequently communicating how much they mean to you. There are many facets to a great work culture and a supervisor who actively demonstrates they care about their team is one of them. Here is a short list of simple daily actions I’ve learned can communicate to your team that you appreciate them:

    *Brag about your staff publicly and often.
    *Exclaim to others everything your team does right.
    *Talk to others about every-time your team goes above their call of duty,
    *Tell each staff member how much you appreciate them.
    *State specifically what the team members are doing that is making a positive difference.
    *Make sure they know you notice their good work and extra effort.
    *Smile, look them in the eye and say “hi” every time you cross paths.
    *Call then by name and remember the names of their family members.
    *Leave no doubt that they matter to you.

    You may not feel like doing these things every day, but do them anyway. It will make your team members feel important to you and will help create a culture of appreciation.