Category Archives: Mental Health

Words from a Father (a Father’s Day Reflection)

Faith, Life, Mental Health
Photo by Juan Pablo Serrano

At 60 years old, I am blessed to be the husband of an amazing wife (Jane). We’ve been married for 35 years.  I have 3 incredible daughters, two wonderful sons-in-laws, and 17 month old twin granddaughters. My life is rich and I am thankful. 

I have served in the mental health field as a counselor since 1992. The majority of this work has been in community mental health. 

On Father’s Day, this ancient sacred text was part of my morning reading:

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart…”*

If you are anxious, angry, self conscious,  worried, or afraid, these words are for you:

You were planned before the earth came into existence.

God Almighty, the consuming fire conceived of you in his all powerful, all knowing, all present being.

He placed you in his story.

He set you apart.

He claimed you as his.

You are not the product of your trauma.

You are not your feelings.

You are not the derogatory names you were called.

You are not the self-incriminating thoughts in your head.

Push the relentless messages of this world aside.

God claims you.

He says, “Mine!”

You are made for more than this world’s words can describe.

You are created in the image of God your Father.

The day he began to plan you, he poured himself into you.

He made you to be creative, kind, and generous.

He made you to laugh, to cry, to grieve, and be joyful.

He made you to sing, to explore, and to learn.

He made you to persevere and not give up.

He made you to be a good friend, a good listener, a defender of the weak, capable of tough love, a giver of mercy and courageous.

Live like you are God’s son or daughter.

Let go of selfishness, anger, vengeance, worry and fear.

Give them to the one who made you. The one who is ready to listen, with the power to do something about your troubles. 

Jeremiah 1:5a.

Reflections on Black History Month

Faith, Life, Mental Health, Topics in Leadership, Work
Image by Aaron Mervin from Pixabay

Today is the last day of Black History Month. Over the last few years my life has been enriched by Black professors, coworkers, doctoral students, and authors that I have had the privilege to know and learn from. They have helped me learn to value diverse opinions and appreciate stories and life experiences that are different from my own. We are a nation increasingly defined by our differences, be they color, political, religious, or economic. We forget that, despite our differences, we share what makes us human. The desire to love and be loved, to care for our families and children, to succeed by using the talents and abilities God has given us, and to live the best life possible. May God help us be better at seeing the best in others and giving our best to others. 

Each week I record five 1-minute messages about mental health and wellness, played on local radio stations. The goal is to promote mental health awareness and resilience. I try to be timely and tie the “mental health minute” to calendar or current events. This month, I recorded five of the minutes featuring quotes by Black leaders whose writings have impacted me. Here are the leaders, their quotes, and my brief application to mental health.  

Dr. Martin Luther King Junior: 

“I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright-daybreak-of-peace-and-brotherhood can never become a reality…. I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word.” 

When our country is increasingly polarized, decide to be a peacemaker. Find ways to build honest and understanding relationships. It is the most important thing you can do for our national mental health.  

Booker T Washington: 

“Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached-in-life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed.” 

One of the most destructive things we can do is compare ourselves to others. We always come up short. Set personal goals rather than using other people’s lives as a measuring stick for your success. Take stock of your own progress and let that be your motivation to take the next step.  

Maya Angelou: 

“Won’t it be wonderful when black history and Native American history and Jewish history and all of U.S. history is taught from one book…Just U.S. history.” 

The United States is and has been made up of the stories of countless individuals who have unique life experiences. Valuing that uniqueness can be healing. Validating someone’s story by honoring their life experience as truly important-and meaningful is essential to-a healthy-mature self-esteem. You have the power to make someone else know they matter.   

Barack Obama: 

“Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” 

One of the pieces of advice I give adolescents is stop blaming others for their problems and focus on how they can be the solution. When you blame others, you give away your power to fix things. When you focus on how you can solve problems you become a difference maker.  

W. E. B. Bu Bois: 

“Read some good, heavy, serious books just for discipline: Take yourself in hand and master yourself. Make-yourself do unpleasant things so as to gain the upper hand of your soul.” 

Depression makes us want to shut down. Push back against that urge. Challenge yourself to learn new skills, learn about new subjects that interest you, have experiences that open you up to new ways of thinking, or visit unfamiliar places. These all help us overcome depression and combat stress. 

Friends let us commit ourselves to widening our circle of fellowship, friendship and those who speak into our life to include people who have stories different from our own.  

Life Lessons from Stranger Things Season 4

Faith, Life, Mental Health, Organizational Culture
Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash

Life Lessons from Stranger Things Season 4

Friends can help you heal trauma.

Friends can help you overcome your personal demons.

Accepting the outsider can bring out the best in them.

Rumors kill.

For many, facts don’t matter, they only get in the way.

We marry our version of reality then we have to maintain it by only allowing in information that fits. Eventually we hear only what reinforces our version of reality and anything else is spun as a sinister lie.

Your enemies will try to get you to give up by breaking your will. You can outlast and overcome them with perseverance, problem-solving, courage, and tenacity.

Evil doesn’t give up easily. Actually, it doesn’t give up.

“Never underestimate the power of a small group of committed people to change the world. In fact, it is the only thing that ever has.” ~ Margaret Mead

” Greater love has no one than this; to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” ~ Jesus of Nazareth

Being Upheld When I Can’t Uphold Myself.

Faith, Life, Mental Health, Topics in Leadership, Work
Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash

Have you ever had one of THOSE weeks where your head, body, and confidence are all suffering? I wrote this a week ago:

This week  I’ve battled through a two-day headache, did an important presentation on the fly while not feeling great, been frustrated almost daily because our IT hardware is struggling to keep up with the demand making important meetings very awkward, felt like I fumbled through leading  our monthly all-team meeting (one of the most important things I do), and keenly felt the loss of our long time faithful finance director as we struggle to replace him.

While these things were all going on I was also dealing with a louder than normal nagging voice that tells me I am not enough, I am a weak leader, I don’t have what it takes, and people don’t like me.

By God’s grace I got through the week better than my head, body, and feelings told me I was doing. I wasn’t perfect but as I reflect on that week the reality is I don’t have to be perfect. I need to be faithful. The sacred writings of my faith tradition remind me that,

*When I am at my weakest my Creator is with me at his strongest.
*Though I stumble I am not utterly cast down.
*My Creator’s strength is made perfect in my weakness.
*My Creator’s right hand holds me up when I cannot hold myself up.
*My Creator will renew my strength.
*Though I walk through the valley…My Creator lends his rod to protect me and staff to guide me. 
*My Creator fights for me. All I need to do is be still.

This week I have felt better and thought better.
I have pressed into things with more vigor.
By God’s grace I will, one step at a time, keep moving forward remembering I do not walk alone. 

The Solution To Our Anger Problem

Faith, Life, Mental Health, Organizational Culture, The Church, Topics in Leadership, Work
photo credit kevin-gent-219197-unsplash

Love your enemies;
Love those who aggravate you;
Love those you have scorned;
Love those you envy;
Love those who disgust you;
Love those you think you are better than;
Love those you do not think work hard enough;
Love those you think use the system;
Love your political opponent;
Love your competitor.

Pray for your enemies;
Pray for those who aggravate you;
Pray for  those you have scorned;
Pray for those you envy;
Pray for those who disgust you;
Pray for those you think you are better than;
Pray for those you do not think work hard enough;
Pray for those you think use the system;
Pray for your political opponent;
Pray for your competitor.

If your enemy is hungry, feed them;
If the one who aggravates you is hungry, feed them;
If the one you scorn is hungry, feed them;
If the one you envy is hungry, feed them;
If the one who disgusts you is hungry, feed them;
If the one who you think you are better than is hungry, feed them;
If the one you do not think works hard enough is hungry, feed them;
If the one you think uses the system is hungry, feed them;
If your political opponent is hungry, feed them;
If your competitor is hungry, feed them.

Anger begets anger.

Do not be conquered by evil but conquer evil with good.

    For My 50+ Year Old Friends Questioning Their Journey

    Faith, Life, Mental Health, Topics in Leadership, Work
    Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash.

    I am writing this post for all of my friends who are 50+ years old and who occasionally find themselves questioning whether they are running their race well. Who wonder if they got off on an inferior path. Who may be interrogating themselves about the choices they have made. 

    I was attacked in the middle of the night by an unholy thought. It went like this,
    “You have blown it. You can’t retire.  You will have to work (if you can) until you are 70. If you would have been this or done that you’d be sitting pretty, but now it’s too late. The die is cast.“
    A deluge of life regrets were encroaching upon me. I felt I had run the race but not executed a winning game plan.

    After several minutes I was able to get my mind out in front of this self-deprecating place.  I began to meditate on ancient immutable wisdom. I changed the paradigm and looked at myself using a different theoretical frame. I came to a different conviction than the one that had troubled me in the middle of the night. My resolution, 

    I reject all of the cultural lies and all of the “can’ts” and “shoulds” of  American middle class aging. The truth of the matter is I am on a lifelong call. The Reality is I am on a mission from the Creator of the Universe. This mission has eternal implications. 

    So in order to place myself in the redemptive  story of the ages I will by God’s grace  not allow myself to be constrained by conventional wisdom, by messaging from interest groups, by images from the media, or by any other principality or power that would seek to define what it means to be getting older.

    While I am aging I will yoke myself to 
    running forward toward whatever God-given tasks lie ahead of me,
    uncovering abilities that I have let lay dormant,
    evolving into the most ethical human being I can be ,
    transforming into my best self,
    honing the gifts The Maker of All Things has given me,
    creating new things with the power the Creator has granted me,
    adding new stories to the universe,
    fulfilling the call to lift up and serve others,

    and if I am knocked down, I will get back up and keep on running. 

    Friends, I invite you to join me.

    Desert or Fountain.

    Faith, Life, Mental Health
    Photo by Max Andrey from Pexels

    Anxiety chokes
    Knees buckle
    Fingers point
    Fear of what may happen.

    Or

    Strength grows
    Breath of courage
    To rescue others
    Selflessness.

    Who are you?

    People who have a lot to give but give nothing.
    People who have little to give but give it away.
    People who have a lot but live seeing themselves in need.
    People who have little but live feeling they have an abundance.

    Where does this come from?

    Is your space inside
    A fountain
    or
    A desert?

    Do you
    See the people
    or
    See only self?

    Choose today. Live as a desert or a fountain.

    Find What is Present

    Faith, Life, Mental Health, Topics in Leadership, Work
    Photo-by-JOHN-TOWNER-on-Unsplash.jpg

    We fear what may happen, 
    We fear what could happen,  
    We fear what might happen,
    but none of those things are now,
    Remain in the Present

    We imagine the worst,
    Our minds and bodies live as if what we dread is occurring,
    We are bond-servants to our trepidations,
    but none of these things are now,
    Remain in the Present

    Many sow a terrible story,
    Many breath a foreboding atmosphere,
    Many drink the potion of unease,
    but your experience is only in this moment,
    Remain in the present.

    Can you breath
    Can you tune out the noise
    Can you rest in the Divine’s company
    Can you lend your presence and peace to another
    Find what is Present. 

    What 4% Unemployment and a Workforce Shortage Means for Community Behavioral Health and Social Service Agencies .

    Mental Health, Topics in Leadership, Work
    Photo by Shane Rounce on Unsplash

    Things are different in the world of recruitment and retention of employees these days. Ask anyone in human resource management. It is getting harder to find competent, effective staff members. Not only is it getting difficult to find good employees, it is also getting increasingly challenging to keep qualified and experienced personnel. In fact, the more technical or skilled the job is, the harder it is to recruit and retain someone.  With unemployment at or below 4% every industry is feeling the pinch. However, in the world of community behavioral health and social services the feeling is much more than a pinch. The reality is that there are not enough highly qualified and licensed staff in the market to satisfy the need. In today’s community behavioral health job market, 

    1. The qualified people currently interviewing at your agency are also interviewing at several other places and a race is on to offer good people a job. If you wait too long you miss out. 
    2. The salary of qualified staff is a constantly moving target.  What is a very competitive wage today is on the low end of average after six months. 
    3. Credentialed staff are being actively recruited by your competition and could go at anytime. 
    4. The competition community behavioral health centers is up against is not only other community behavioral health centers but it also includes large hospital systems, government agencies, and insurance companies. 
    5. Community behavioral health centers are nonprofit organizations with slim margins. It is difficult to compete with the wages and benefits of the much larger more deep pocketed entities that make up their competition for highly qualified employees. 

    In order for community behavioral health centers to hire and keep highly qualified staff in this phenomenally competitive market they must embrace four truths.  

    1. The work culture has become an essential asset. A culture that is supportive, affirming, growth promoting, safe (physically and emotionally), flexible, and employee-centered is a necessity. These are all things that community behavioral health centers can provide. 
    2. Front-line managers often serve as mentors, coaches, and  even surrogate parents or grandparents to younger staff members. 
    3. Wages and benefits must be competitive. Community behavioral health systems must find ways to offer wages and benefits that are at least in the ballpark of what others can offer. 
    4. A skill set grounded in Transformational Leadership theory for people in supervisory roles is essential for the retention of good employees. 

    So how do community behavioral health and social service centers respond to the current labor market? We cannot live in the past. If we do, our agencies will fall behind. The only choice is to adapt to the new world of recruitment and retention. This is not easy and requires painstaking self-reflection and adaptation at all levels. Leave no stone unturned. At the agency I work for recruitment and retention is a constant conversation amongst our leadership team. It is an ongoing process and we keep at it. Here is a list of actions we have used to guide us that may be helpful to your organization as well. 

    1. Realize that the environment which your agency or organization exists in has changed. Former  assumptions about hiring and retaining employees will not work in these new circumstances. We are experiencing a new generation of workers, a new economy, new technologies, and new priorities in the workplace. 
    2. Clearly identify what your agency’s true mission is and focus all resources on who or what supports that and let go of anything else. 
    3. Frequently reevaluate your human resource assumptions. This is not something that can be done by your organization’s upper echelon by simply thinking about it. It requires asking employees questions about what they like and don’t like about the work environment and the wages and benefits. 
    4. Research what your competition is doing and adjust and adapt to it. 
    5. Identify the policies, procedures, and practices that are holding you back. Is your hiring protocol too cumbersome? Does your process of interviewing, checking references, and making an offer take too long?
    6. Revise your budget. Revamp it so that it enhances getting and keeping the best employees because without them you won’t have a budget. 
    7. Be willing to change your management and supervisory structure to meet the needs of the current generation of employees. Do you need more individual supervision? More group supervision? Ask your team what they need or want and develop your supervisory structure  around their feedback. 
    8. Look at creative ways to offer benefits such as health insurance. Find an insurance  broker who understands the most cutting edge ways to offer incentives to your team. You may find you can cut costs while adding benefits for staff engaging in healthy living practices. 

    Community behavioral health and social service agencies have a lot to offer the current generation of workers. We can be competitive in our pursuit of good team members. To do so requires a major overhaul of how we think about recruiting and retaining the best of the workforce.  Change is never easy but it is necessary; however as community behavioral health centers the work we do, often to serve the most vulnerable in our communities, is calling out to us to do what is required.

    A Little Story about Geriatric Psychiatric Patients and What They Taught Me about Happiness .

    Faith, Life, Mental Health

    May is Mental Health Awareness Month.


    I thought I would tell this simple story from my work at a psychiatric hospital in the mid-1990s and what it taught me about mental health.

    Part of my job at the psychiatric hospital was to work in an intensive outpatient program for older adults. The people we worked with were sixty-five years old or older. They came into the program with a variety of issues. Some were depressed, some were wrought with anxiety, some were experiencing hallucinations and/or delusions, some were so discouraged they had become suicidal. Though their symptoms varied, the stories of why they were feeling the way they were was similar. Their aging years had brought about a series of losses. Often friends or family had passed away. The patient’s health was declining. They were no longer working. They may have had to move from their home into a more manageable  living environment. They were no longer able to drive themselves. They had lost many of the things in life that had always given them a sense of meaning and joy. The losses had created a crisis of identity.

    What became fascinating to me is that though the individuals in the program all had arrived at the psychiatric hospital with a similar series of losses some of them recovered from their psychiatric symptoms and moved on and others continued to struggle. Over time I began to notice a pattern in the patients who recovered. Those who recovered had three factors in their lives that seemed to give them the ability to bounce back. I want to point out that none of the three factors had anything to do with medication. Actually all of the patients were prescribed similar medications. Antidepressants, antipsychotics, and/or antianxiety medications were common for all the people in the partial hospitalization program.  Psychiatry did not seem to be the cure.

    The first factor was that those patients who bounced back had supportive and emotionally intimate relationships with very close friends or family. Often it was a long time coworker, a  neighbor, or their adult children or grandchildren. These relationships mattered for several reasons. These close friendships meant that someone was there everyday or at least called everyday to make sure the patient was doing okay. This allowed the person recovering to believe they mattered. These relationships also allowed the patient to be authentic and real with another human who cared for them. They could be honest about their feelings without being judged. Mostly these relationships were powerful  because when the patient got into a tough time, there was someone they could turn to for help. They did not feel alone.

    The second factor was that those patients who recovered had a hobby, an interest or a part time job that gave them a sense of meaning. One guy made stools people could sit on while they gardened. One lady spent several weeks making special holiday candy and cookies. Another gentleman did a tremendous amount of volunteer work for his church. One guy made wooden toys. Another lady was a leader in a weight loss club. It really didn’t matter what it was. The important thing was that it gave a sense of meaning, purpose, and joy to the person.

    The final factor that I identified in the patients who recovered was that they had  an active, personal, and strong spiritual faith. Some were Catholic, some were Protestant, some were Pentecostal, and some were much more eclectic. What did a strong personal faith do for the patients who were resilient?  How did it contribute to their recovery? I observed this. It gave them a place to go with their questions that did not have answers. Questions such as why did my husband die before me? Why am I experiencing the difficulties that I am? Why am I sick? Through their their faith they were able to live with the things in life that did not make sense.

    When I think about my own mental health I often reflect back on those simple lessons I learned from the many patients I saw at the psychiatric hospital. The importance of emotionally intimate relationships with family and friends. The importance of having meaningful work and leisure activities. And finally the ability to rest in a Creator who loves me and cares about the details of my life.  It is these simple and unsophisticated things that provided stability and hope. These are the buoys that held up the people in the psychiatric hospital when their lives seemed to be caving in. These are anchors we can all develop. We can kindle old friendships and make new ones (“if you want a friend be a friend”). We can pursue our hobbies and interests. We can find ways to enrich others. We can pray and pursue the Creator. Not only can we do this for ourselves but we can reach out and bring others along with us.