Category Archives: Faith

Myths of Your Leadership Identity

Faith, Topics in Leadership, Work
Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash

Henri Nouwen, a Catholic Priest and insightful contemplative author talks about the Five Lies of Identity: 1) I am what I have. 2) I am what I do. 3) I am what other people say or think of me. 4) I am nothing more than my worst moment. 5) I am nothing less than my best moment.

I have to confess. As an organizational leader I have struggled with each one of the lies listed by Nouwen. I compare myself or the agency I work for to others and come up short.  I take my professional self too seriously and forget who I really am. I often focus too much on making sure people like me. I often give too much credibility to my failures and not enough credit to the gifts and talents God has given me.

There is a lot of pressure in being a leader. But greater than the pressure is the gift of being able to support, encourage, and serve others through that role. The truth about myself as a leader is that in my job I  have ups and downs, wins and losses, good days and bad days.  The value I have is given to me by my the Creator. It is not found in my position at work or most recent success.  My job is to be a faithful steward for the agency and people I serve. It is to  speak the truth in love, to help others be their best ,  and guide the organization I lead through the many challenges and toward the many opportunities it has in order to accomplish its mission. What a privilege.

Take My Fears

Faith, Life, Work

Jehovah, take my fears and replace them with your ancient truth. Take my fears and replace them with your ancient plan. Take my fears and help me replace them with abiding in the ancient mission and purpose you have given me.

When my eyes get fixed on what seems urgent, on what seems pressing, on what must be done;  let me remember you are present,  you are working.

You are the beginning and the end. This is your universe. All time is really yours.

Photo by Joe Beck on Unsplash

This year begin to undo the lies about yourself and be who you are created to be.

Faith, Life, Work

Life and our culture have a way of making alignment to our created purpose confusing. In life we are, as one ancient author described it, “harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.”* From birth we are assaulted by lies about who we are.  Sometimes it is our family, sometimes it is our classmates, sometimes our neighbors, or sometimes our co-workers. For sure it is also the constant throbbing message from the culture telling us we are not enough. These lies can settle  deep into our psyche. They may be telling us we need to be skinnier, that we can’t compete intellectually, that  we aren’t good enough to do what we enjoy, or that are our very core there is something wrong in us that makes us irreversibly defective. When these lies take root it makes believing the truth about who the Creator made us to be seem ridiculous. Embracing the lies leads us to a life of frustration, fear and anxiety.

Unwinding the lies and embracing the truth is within our grasp. It takes persistence, diligence,  and daily perseverance. It also takes doing something different. The lies are embedded in us because we have meditated on them. We have reinforced them. To change we have to begin the deconstruction process. Start by making a commitment to everyday doing what it takes to discover, uproot, and replace the lies.

  1. Take the time to review. Think about the destructive messages you’ve received over the course of your life. Some of the messages have been overt and some covert. As you identify them write them down. Write down who sent the message, be it a person, an institution, or an environment. Ask yourself why you are allowing that person or entity to declare truth about you?
  2. Allow yourself to believe that you were brought into existence by the grand Creator and that this Creator has a truth about you to discover.
  3. Begin to change your input. The lies are sown and grown by input. If you want to uproot and replace the lies with the truth you must change the input. The Creator has given you the power to choose new input. Read or listen to good books. I encourage reading the classics. You can use the internet for a list, or ask a literature teacher.
    **Here I will make personal suggestion. Start with reading the books of                                   the Psalms, Proverbs and New Testament  for 10  minutes every day.                                   Even if you are not in the Christian religion you will benefit from the                                     message.
  4. Begin to Journal. Write out your thoughts, feelings, stories, memories…whatever comes out. When you think of  lies, write out challenges to them. Write  what you are learning about yourself. Write out prayers. Write out poems. Use the journal to pour out your heart. List the things you do well. List out your victories, even the smallest ones.
  5. Begin to use your gifts. If its painting, then paint, if its building things then start, if its encouraging others then do it with gusto. Consider one of my favorite quotes,                      “If you have a talent, use it in every which way possible. Don’t hoard it. Don’t                    dole it out like a miser. Spend it lavishly like a millionaire intent on going                          broke.” Brendan Francis.

As you being to practice these things regularly you will get new ideas about who you are. Let them settle in. Push back against the lies as they rear their dishonest heads. Embrace the new truths the Creator is teaching you about who you really are. Look for new opportunities to push into. New friendships, new social circles, new hobbies, new work. Give yourself the permission to try even if one of the new things you do does not work out.

The truth of life is that you have a purpose. You were given talents, abilities, interests and passions because your Creator wants you to have them. He wants you to use them. Make a commitment to move toward undoing anything that is casting a shadow over your glorious potential and move in the direction of alignment with your God given mission.

 

 

 

 

 

*Matthew 9:36 NIV

I need a jealous God.

Faith, Life
Photo by LoboStudio Hamburg

I pray a lot. One of the reasons I pray is that  I face problems that require solutions that I do not possess.

The other day I noticed I was feeling a small tinge of hopelessness as I prayed. At that particular moment I was addressing an issue that I had been praying about for a long time.  I moved on to  praying about another problem that too, seemed ominous and difficult. In the midst of my appeal I realized I was  believing  that my prayers might be weaker than the situations I was petitioning for. I was straining and pleading to be heard and was hoping for God to do something overt and powerful but somewhere deep inside I was perceiving  God as distant.

The source of my sense of weakness? My view of God had drifted to a god who was nice and caring but  not a god who could or would step in with force and make things right. My conceptualization of God had slipped into the Christian bookstore, marketing  version of “The Almighty”.  That version is a god whose words and images are displayed nicely on gift mugs and plaques.  Whose thoughts and truths are sold  in book after book after book with nice covers, on everything from marriage, to raising kids, to running a business, to prayer. The Christian bookstore god seems far away. Hard to know. Maybe too far off or passive to  deal with my issues.

I have real problems that require a living God to answer. I need the God  described in ancient Hebrew and Greek texts that answers when people call. The God who wants to step in and be known. I need  a Consuming Fire. I need a  jealous God. I need the God who rides on a white horse and brandishes a double edge sword. I need the God who trains hands for war. I need the  God who casts out the Accuser. I need the  God who made the sun stand still. I need the God whom the demons know and shake with fear of. I need the God who healed the lady with a bleeding disorder. I need  a God who isn’t safe, who no one can see and live.

I’ve known this God and I’ve seen him act.

Abba-Father please help me to keep my understanding of you true. Help me to not allow the many ways you get watered down in our culture change how I approach you and how I think about you.

 

 

 

 

Be thankful for your incognito teachers.

Faith, Life, Topics in Leadership, Work

 

The Creator uses some of the most difficult people in our lives as teachers. I wouldn’t  have the knowledge and understanding I do about organizational leadership if it were not for those individuals over the years who at points in my journey had me at a breaking point. This realization came into focus this past week.  I was in a conversation with a colleague. It was a congenial, collaborative conversation about the work we do and the work we want to do to make a difference in the lives of others. I realized during the conversation that we were very aligned. What made the awareness peculiar is that  we have not always been aligned. In fact at a few points in our relationship we have been at tremendous odds.

As I thought about those difficult times in our work together I came to a realization that this individual has been one of my greatest teachers.  It was instruction that could be characterized as ,”learning the hard way.”  As I reflected on  our difficult times and how much I had learned a message floated across my mind. The Creator had used him to help me grow up as a leader. I began to think about others who have served as teachers I didn’t ask for or recognize but who have helped me develop as a leader.

A handful of people came to mind. I thought of the lessons I had learned from them. I’ve learned that hiring someone who fits our agency’s mission and values is more important than hiring someone for the skills  they possess. I learned that having the right person in the wrong position creates frustration for everyone. I learned that taking care of problems when they are small is really important because problems generally do not go away, they just get bigger and do  more damage. I’ve learned the importance of listening to warning signals. I’ve learned its okay to do a 180 degree turn when you need to. I’ve learned to ask for help when I need it. I’ve learned that collaboration builds a stronger organization. I could go on and on.

As I make the list I am thinking of names of people I have worked with in various capacities. Whether our relationship was marked by conflict or agreement I realize that they were in my life to teach me. I think the reason The Creator put them there incognito is because I wouldn’t have chosen them as teachers. I think I would have gravitated to  people who would have been safe rather than pushed me into places I didn’t want to go. Sometimes being in those places had me crying out for relief or  for a different job. Relief did not always come very quickly and I am still in the same job (thank you God). I feel a little wiser. Part of that wisdom is knowing that more lessons will come. After all, like all of us, I am in a dynamic developmental process and I need teachers.

 

 

 

 

In Leadership, There Are Good Days and There Are Bad Days.

Faith, Mental Health, Topics in Leadership, Work

 

Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash

The realty of leading an organization is that there will always be good times and there will always be bad times. The love for the work, the love for the mission , and a sense of the stress being temporary sustains a leader during the rough times.

This week I was having a conversation with a  friend of mine who also leads a nonprofit organization.  He was at his wits end and  in the midst of some really difficult issues with his staff. He described feeling stabbed-in-the-back,  ineffective, and be unable to lead his team. Several times in the conversation he talked about it being time for him to leave his job and move on.

I wanted to support my friend but I also wanted to be genuine with him. So I listened.  I told him about some of my dark times and times I wanted to quit. I also reminded him that the dark times pass. I shared my thoughts on how to manage this rough patch. I reminded him that organizations are dynamic and leadership is an ever evolving event. An organization is new everyday. Every day a leader can make decisions and take actions that reshapes things and solves problems to move the organization  toward accomplishing its mission.  And yet, there will still be challenging times.

After we had discussed the ups and downs of leading an agency, I reminded  my friend  he had all the skill he needed to get through this difficult period and continue to move the organization forward. I also told him that only he could decide if his love for the work and the mission  was enough to put up with the  nerve-wracking  times.

At the end of our talk I could tell by his voice that a sense of hope was rising. I’m glad.

Sometimes leading…

Faith, Life, Topics in Leadership, Work

 

Sometimes leading feels like I am walking in a stream, with the current and having a clear path. Everything flows nicely and gently.

Sometimes leading feels like I am walking in a stream against the current. It’s hard. My steps are slow and I get tired, but I must keep stepping forward.

Sometimes leading feels like I am walking in a stream against the current during a storm. I am getting really wet and weighed down by the rain. I slog against the current with a sense that I might go under.

Sometimes leading feels like I am walking in a steam in the dark with a lot of big rocks in the way. It’s hard to find the right path. I bump into few rocks when I’m trying to decide which way to go. I back up and try a different direction. Always guided by,
what is true,
what is right,
what is fair,
what is ethical.

Sometimes leading feels like walking in a stream, with the current on a bright warm day. And it all–
the good,
the bad,
the easy,
and the hard,
make sense.

 

I have decided after several conversations today that most people want to have things their way.

Faith, Life, Topics in Leadership, Work

I have decided after several conversations today that most people want to have things their way. The problem with this approach to life is that it  stalls momentum, kills creativity,  or moves things forward tainted by resentment.

What is the alternative? I have to turn to ancient wisdom:

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. -Paul of Tarsus

Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less. -C. S. Lewis

 

 

 

 

Stay off this dark road.

Faith, Life, Mental Health, Topics in Leadership, Uncategorized

It happened this past week. I went down the dark road…I started to compare myself to someone else. The self-talk was something like, “Look how much more focused and further along in their career they are. Look how much more they have. Look how much better they have done. I should have done this. I should have done that.” The internal dialogue culminated in me feeling small and inadequate. I knew this exercise in self deprecation was wrong. I didn’t want to do it. It just sort of started to happen and somewhere deep inside it got rolling.

I went to The Creator and asked for help. First for forgiveness for the offense, then for restoration. The familiar voice, the one that runs deeper than the negativity, spoke back. It reminded me that I, like all of us, have a unique set of tools, handed down by my maker. I have a unique life to live. I have a mission…a job that is bigger than  me. This mission is for me to pour my heart, my mind, and soul into.  One  of my favorite quotes came to mind as I was getting back on track. It reminded me to focus on what I have rather than on perceptions of what I don’t have:  If you have a talent, use it in every which way possible. Don’t hoard it. Don’t dole it out like a miser. Spend it lavishly like a millionaire intent on going broke (Brendan Francis). 

Whether you lead a business, a church, a nonprofit, or anything else, you must fight the the temptation to compare yourself to others.  It only  leads to dark places like frustration, anger, resentment or jealousy.   Focus on the talents, tools, and work the Creator has given you. You and everyone else will be better off for it.