According to the Google dictionary resilience is “the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.” I am seeing more and more how resilient my daughter Krista is. God has given her a unique strength to recover from difficulties, reframe setbacks, and keep moving on; not allowing herself to become fatalistic. When she experiences a knock-back, Krista regroups and presses on. I’ve seen this characteristic in Krista for several years, but recently I saw an example that made me really proud of her.
Krista is our youngest. She was diagnosed at a young age with an abnormal EEG and ADD [ADHD inattentive type ]. The abnormal EEG diagnosis came because her brain registered seizure activity nonstop during the entire time she slept at night. Academically she was affected by the ADD and also by a learning disability that makes reading comprehension very difficult for her. In junior high and high school we spent many nights pushing through homework, often with tears, as Krista tried to understand what she was reading or trying to comprehend multiple step math problems.
Outweighing the learning issues, Krista has the characteristics of being a kind, compassionate, and determined hard worker. Throughout high school she maintained good grades all while running cross country and playing flute in the marching and concert band. After high school she went to a gap-year program and is now in college majoring in social work.
Krista likes to stay busy. For example, she is on the college cross country team, part of a couple recreational clubs, holds a part time job, and keeps up with her school work. In November Krista came home for Thanksgiving break. One quiet evening during the holiday weekend Krista let us know she had gotten “let go” from her job at the campus library because, she “was not analytical enough.” I could tell Krista was really hurt by this. She expressed anger at the library administration for not giving her more time to improve. Krista also expressed frustration over her own struggle with the learning disability that has caused her so many challenges over the years. She said that the supervisor who had delivered the bad news told her that Krista had a great work ethic and was always willing to do the jobs other workers didn’t want to do. The library gave Krista the option to work out the semester, meaning she would work the last three weeks before Christmas break, knowing that they didn’t really think she could do the job. Krista, showing her ability to wade into hard things, chose to stay on and finish out the semester.
Over Christmas break Krista had a few more days of expressing her frustration and hurt over being let go. She could have allowed herself to become embittered at the library administration and settled into a valley of self deprecation over how her cognitive processing issues led to the situation at the library. But…she didn’t. Shortly after New Year’s Day, Krista and I were in the living room talking. I asked her how she was doing with the “whole job thing?” She looked up and said, “Oh, I already have another job. I’m working in housekeeping.” She went on to say, “I’m really excited about it because the supervisor is really cool, and plus I love to clean.” She had apparently applied online over Christmas break and got hired. I didn’t really know what to say. She had accomplished a 180 degree maneuver in a matter of a few days. Though she still feels some anger about the way she was let go and is still a little embarrassed, she has not gotten hung up there. She is not letting herself be defined by a bump in the road. In fact, going further she is able to see how all of this may be a gift. She’ll have better hours and a less stressful work environment for the same pay.
Krista has a heart of compassion for children who have experienced difficulties. Ever since entering the school of social work she has had her eye on working with a child protective agency. Over Christmas break, because she is very efficient, Krista completed a 30 hour practicum at our local child protective services agency. She observed case worker assessments of parents who have had their children removed, observed parent-child supervised visitations, and observed juvenile court hearings. Krista has an ability to see people in all kinds of situations through a lens of mercy. I can’t help but believe that her God-given gift of resilience is not only going to continue to benefit Krista, but may well be a gift she can lend to others as she helps them on their journey.