I try, as best as I can to stay organized with “my” time. Being organized and efficient are some of the traits that typically make the “traits of effective leader” list. What I always tell people is, “getting organized isn’t the problem, it’s staying organized that gets,me.” My calendar and my to-do list are important tools. To keep track of my time I use Google Calendar. I can schedule my time from several devices and keep everything synced. I use Google Keep to create reminders and to-do lists.  I write out my to-dos and check them off on a regular basis.  The work ethic I inherited from my parents leads me to make sure I am being productive and getting things done. I try to make every hour count.

I’m not obsessive about it, but when there are interruptions or intrusions to my plan I can feel a little surge of anxiety or even frustration with the person or situation getting me off track.

Maybe the source of the discomfort is because I forget that the hours I have in the day aren’t really mine. They are given to me by the one who created time.

This week I had a couple “intrusions”  that gently reminded me that the the creator of time may have some things to add to my day. Early in the week I was hunkered down plowing through my to-do list. One of the crisis counselors at the  agency I am the director of ask for me to help with a person in crisis because all the other staff were tied up. My first thought was, “I don’t have time for this.”  Despite my initial reaction I jumped in to help. I did the crisis intervention, and for about an hour I had the privilege of entering into someone’s “valley of the shadow of death” (Psalm 23:4). It was a sacred time. This person, in complete trust, shared their deepest pain with me. I found myself feeling blessed by the opportunity to be a listening ear. I realized after the conversation that God had orchestrated this. He wanted me to be an extension of his grace to a suffering soul. This was better than anything on my list for the day.  The second happened as I was leaving the YMCA to get back home after working out. I had planned just enough  time to get in some exercise then get ready for a meeting. On my way out I ran into a friend. I did the quick “Hey how you doing?” Instead of the normal quick “okay” he chose to spend the time to actually share how he was doing. Once again, I felt that twinge of anxiety and my internal dialogue was , “shoot, I don’t have time for this.” I spent about 5 minutes listening and offering support. We parted ways with a smile and a “nice seeing you.” The conversation was not long but it was meaningful. It was enough time to demonstrate to my friend that I cared about him. Once again, a chance to reflect some grace into someone’s life. It was time not blocked out on my schedule but it was a sacred encounter.

So I will start a new work week again Monday.  I have my schedule and my to-do list. I am praying though, that I will be sensitive to God’s plan for what’s ahead and leave room for the creator of time to drop in a few interruptions.

Deep inside of me there is a still small voice offering to guide me. The advice from the voice  is trustworthy.  It may caution me to not do something or on the other hand encourage me to take action.  There have been times in the last few weeks I’ve listened to it. When I have, I’ve wound up either being a big encouragement to a friend at just the time they needed it or communicating an important message of clarity to coworkers at the agency I lead. Just this week I was nudged by the voice to take some food to a friend who was ill. Because I listened, my wife and I  wound up being a major encouragement to her.

I’ve also put off the voice. When I put off  the voice I find other types of outcomes. Sometimes it costs me some extra money  (this year the voice told me to double check my taxes. I didn’t. I wound up filing an amended return). Sometimes I miss the blessing of lifting someone’s spirit. 

The voice is persistent. It can speak to me about the same advice for a long time.  I can avoid it or try to rationalize it. The voice though, is always speaking the truth.

Why do I avoid it? Often it’s because of the other messages in my head.  Messages  I’m generating myself. They rise up from various places inside of me. Messages of fear, insecurity, pride, or avoidance. These voices are not my friends.  In fact, they never lead anywhere that is life-giving.

In my faith tradition, the voice and messages  are easily explained. There is only one voice of truth. It’s a voice that embodies life at its fullest. It is the voice of the Creator. There are many other voices. They are voices that lead to anxiety, loss, and perpetual wanting. These voices are ultimately generated by darkness…life apart from one who created us.

The little voice of truth is present and available to all of us. The problem is, we are too used to being driven by the other dialogue in our head. For instance, many of us live lives guided by messages of insecurity that lead us to compare ourselves to others. We feel inadequate so we are led by voices telling us to avoid looking stupid, to fight to get ahead, or try to finish before someone else in order to take the lead. Many of these messages rise up out of  painful memories, condemning messages from childhood, and our lack of practicing self-awareness.  As a leader I am often too easily enamored with the worries of what could happen. The voices I hear are fueled by fear. I can become so full of their message I stop leading and start reacting, which always leads to poor decision making.

Most people who hear the still small voice of the Creator and who attend to it frequently would say that it takes discipline to quiet your mind and hear clearly. Disciplines that help hear the voice of the the Creator require you to slow down both mentally and physically. Often they are things such as journaling, meditation, reading, and prayer.  These practices over time, can quiet your mind and create the internal climate that makes it easier to hear the Maker’s still small voice of truth.

Postscript:

Today was one of those days. By mid morning my mind was crowded with the voices of discouragement and dread. Challenges with team cohesiveness, keeping up with the daunting changes in our industry, Covid-19, and staff burnout all seemed too big and I seemed too small. I knew that though the challenges were real, my perspective was making them worse. I was settling in on problems rather than seeking solutions. I called a friend, a fellow agency director, to talk it through. Out of the blue, the Creator used them to give me a very encouraging message that someone else had given them about me.  After that I recalled some of the ways God had spoken to me recently. Those two actions put me on more solid footing. We have to remember. The Creator doesn’t often give us the long term plan, rather, we are  given just enough for the next step. And that is exactly what we need.